28 weeks

How quickly has this pregnancy gone?


I just read an entry I wrote when I was 28 weeks pregnant with Callum (around September 2013). I can't believe how complainy I was, how uncomfortable I was; I wasn't sleeping at night. I have aches and complaints this time but I think I just am too busy to fixate on them and I also have a better attitude.


My sleep isn't awful yet. I am peeing more often


I failed the 1 hour test, my sugar was 161 and they like it to be under 150.

3 years old!!

Callum turned 3 on 12/10/16! We had his birthday party at Pontillo's again, worked out great. he kind of gets his birthday this year, so that was fun. When we sang Happy Birthday to him, he turned around and faced away from everyone, then turned back afterwards. His buddy Tommy did the honor of blowing out the candle, Callum was just taking too long. Tommy couldn't deal! Callum got a lot of great toys he loves, he's played with all of them already.

So I am pregnant, 19 weeks and due 5/8/17. On Friday 12/9, we had an ultrasound appt and found out we're having a girl!! And everything was normal and okay, anatomy wise. She is measuring on track. I am so excited to have a girl this time, and buy all the girl clothes. So, at Callum's party we did a mini gender reveal, complete with pink helium balloons coming out of a box, that callum opened.

I will come back and add pictures, all his party pics are on my phone so I need to get them onto "the cloud."

summer is my most favorite time of year, the time when I'll get everything done that I've been ignoring the entire school year, my life will be in order, everything will be in order and organized and maybe I'll craft things for my walls and make some new Thai food recipes. And paint my whole house. And landscape everything outside. And this project and that project.

Except, summer is just as busy as the school year - but in a different way.

I still work at my per diem job but I pick up more shifts. So I work about 2 days a week (some weeks only 1 day, some weeks 3 days). Also now that it's august, I'm part time at school... getting ready for the new school year. And chasing after Callum is seriously time consuming. He is so so so so so busy, and destroys everything. You can't take your eyes off of him.

He's still speech delayed. His speech therapist put in to have him evaluated for OT (occupational therapy). She said "speech is the finest of the fine motor skills" and OT can help with that. Especially if his issue is neuromotor (issue between his brain and physically forming words with his mouth). Also she thinks he may have some sensory issues. The way he throws and scatters everything, is constantly moving, etc etc. I'm tired of talking about it. I guess they're very backlogged with OT eval requests, so who knows when he'll actually get the eval.

Getting down things about callum

Height: 36 in
Weight (as of today) 34.6 lb
Age: 2 years. 6 months, and 12 days old

He has discovered "flies" and for a few days had an intense phobia. Any mention of a fly, would send him running in fear from the room. We used this to our advantage a bit, to get him to move where we wanted (it's not that evil, he's a strong willed child and we use any advantage we can get to control things). After days of reassuring him though that flies won't hurt him, the fear is starting to subside a bit. Now every bug is a fly, and he makes a "buzzz" sound, still with a slightly apprehensive look to his face, whenever a bug is around.

My child said "bubbles" last Friday and it was cause for a celebration. Not only has he never been able to say a B word correctly (he either wouldnt attempt, or his attempts resulted in an M word. Ie, Baa was Maa) So we were really excited that he said a word so full of Bs. He said it during therapy and of course won't say it again. Such is Callum.

He's been saying lots of new words/phrases in general... although still not consistently and often he still reverts to his jargon or just plain tells you NO! when you tell him to use words. So sometimes I think he chooses not to say things, because it's more work. I mean, words he has said, he just tells me NO he won't say them. If we bribe him, then sometimes he will. For example, last week he wanted something, a toy or food, and he said "I want please" (the please was signed). I told him to say that and I'd give him the item. He still doesn't speak much unprompted/spontaneously, or if you tell him to say something but it doesn't fit the context of the situation. So he CAN say some things... he just doesn't always. That's not to say he isn't delayed - he is, and he also struggles with placing his mouth in the right spots to get words out. You can see it, you can see his mind working, specifically during therapy, trying to figuring out how to say a word. 

 Sometimes if you tell him to use words though he will do this thing where just opens and closes his mouth making a random sound and tapping his mouth with his finger, minicing his SLP. 

Callum starts daycare next week. We're going to send him to an in-home daycare, near my work, 1 day a week. And I am starting him my first day of summer break. Because we need a break to get things done at home! But really, he needs to socialize with other kids and be around someone that is not us. I really think that'll help his speech, and social skills. He's not socially awkward and he plays well with other kids. however he is a bit shy in new situations, and usually will "hang back" from groups of others kids for awhile, until he suddenly warms up. He does this with kids he knows well, his friends, not just stranger kids... so I want to try to work on that. He has been SO much better lately though, warms up a lot quicker and plays well, joining in after his initial "observation" stage.

Just to note... I was the same way, I was really shy. More so than he is. It's hard to see the personality traits you dislike about yourself (or their other parent!) manifest in your child. So when he does the shrinking violet routine... hiding behind me, sitting out from other kids and observing them, explaining mama!mama! if someone approaches him... I'm like, omg that is SOOO me, haha. I was so so shy when I was little and just wanted my mom and was scared of being away from her, and of big groups, etc. He's actually way less shy than I was, and it's not a horrible thing, but if we can work on that, why not?

Mega long update - probably boring

So with Callum's suspected apraxia, his therapy has now changed. The hardest part of speech for me, is I don't know the terminology or the different nuances in speech. So it makes it harder for me to discuss, since I don't know what I'm talking about.

Previously, his therapy consisted of playing with things he likes, and the therapist saying the words of objects, trying to get him to ask for things, etc. For a child with a regular delay, this often works well. He has made such slow progress, coupled with some other signs, that she began to suspect the real issue is apraxia, which is actually a neuro disorder.

I really like this blog, written by a mom who's son had/has apraxia https://jakes-journey-apraxia.com/

Last week his SLP's (speech-language pathologist) supervisor came out to observe him. When I got home from work at 3, they were already there and Callum was being a huge show off. I hate when kids show off. I am a crotchety old lady but it's a pet peeve (and yes, I remember doing the "show off" thing as a kid, and I am just as annoyed with my old self). So after reining that in, I sat down with them and watched/participated in the session. Callum definitely said more words and was more engaged than he has been before, honestly probably because someone new was there.

Some of the therapies she is doing now, involve integrating motor movements with sounds. So like, she'll make her arms into an O shape while saying Ooooo. There's all different kinds of movements to do with the sounds. She gave me print outs of them, as well as letter sounds to say for different objects - kinda hard to explain, maybe I'll post a picture of what I'm talking about. They also do things like G-g-Gooooo while pushing a car. Basically exaggerating the first letter sound of a word.They also take the Z-vibe stick with the sucker on the end and try to work his mouth. although he usually wants to do it himself, which is providing little therapeutic benefit, and he throws a tantrum when it's the therapists "turn." They also had him doing things on paper with a bingo dotter marker yesterday while she said "ddddot, ddddot." He said some new sounds and words, like for Open, On, Mine, Yes (not new, but he did it a lot). I'm not sure if they're official signs but they also incorporate hand signs in with words too, which is helpful because if he does the sign at least we know what the heck he wants.


The supervisor took lots of notes. She agreed that it may be apraxia and said he qualifies for additional therapy. So I think we may add another day...bringing us to 3 days. That won't start till the summer though.

 I need to write down all the words he says regularly, ones he's said but doesn't say now, and ones he's said in therapy. The amt he should say varies on what source you ask, but somewhere between 100-150 for age 2, and 300 by age 3. My child says around 10. Mama, Dada ALL the time. No, nah, na-na (grandma), more, woo (for dog), woo woo (for train). Sometimes he'll say ow. He's started doing "phh" for phone and today he did it for fan. He makes a parched expiratory sound when he wants a drink. He clucks like a chicken when he wants to eat (because his favorite food is chicken nuggets),  makes helicoptor and planes sounds (sounds that I can't even replicate). Rarr for a dinosaur/dragon/monster/lion. We got him to say a soft "t" sound for the tablet this week. He usually makes a sound of his tongue lapping (like the goats on a game on there)when he wants it. He also makes a "Sss Sss" sound, for spiderman. Makes sounds imitation for a few other things, but they are NOT words.  That's what we hear at home. He's said bus, Linds (for his aunt), mine (mostly in therapy), Uma (for grandma uma), train, mUe (for museum), Butch (from thomas the train lol), open, off, and some others that I've forgotten. These words he does not say regularly, or for some, ever again.

He also has a repertoire of made up signs, like if you say "be careful, you could get hurt!" he will tap his head...meaning hit your head, which he knows hurts. Or if I say something about getting in trouble... he hits his stomach, like he's being spanked. Ya'll we don't even spank him, lol I don't get it! He is super rambunctious and will just run in circles, waving his arms, laughing, talking in his sounds, picking stuff up just to throw it, climbing EVERYTHING, pulling on curtains. He's started going up to something he knows he shouldn't touch or do and just saying "No! No!" while shaking his finger, and then touching or doing it. Lol like he's saving me the trouble of telling him no.


Last week I suddenly thought to tell his SLP about how he's always gagged really easily, can never recover from it, and will vomit. Since he was a baby. I remember it started when he started solids, so like pureed foods.My mom said she remembers him gagging on bottles (the early months are a blur for me now lol). I clean up puke at least 2x a week. To me it's just so normal, I forget about it, that's the only reason I can think of as to why I didn't deem it pertinent to tell her before. As I was telling her she had a look on her face and then said, "you know, I am a swallow and feeding specialist. Like I have specialty certification." I didn't know. She said that is NOT normal. Back in the fall, we took Callum to the pediatrician for it and they talked about doing an upper GI. At the time we declined because it seemed invasive to do. But it hasn't gotten better and now with the speech problems on top of it, it may be a good idea.

Today he had an appt with the pediatrician. She thinks its not a GI issue but a swallowing and feeding issue. So...she said an OT referral would be best. I should contact early intervention about it. Idk, I am just so burnt out from it all and don't want him in therapy every dang day! Part of me is just like whatever, maybe he'll out grow it. Maybe nothing is really that wrong. I don't know.

It super sucks having an almost 2.5 year old who has the expressive speech of a baby. However his receptive speech is perfect and the SLPs yesterday said he's actually still really good at communicating using his own ways. He tells stories using his sounds, his body and arms, and his facial expressions. You pretty much can tell what he's talking about and wants 90% of the time. His therapist also thinks HE THINKS he's saying words, even though it's just jargon sound to us. That jargon sound is also misleading, because you'd probably think he says more than 8 real words, since he's constantly chattering (in correct syntax of the English language) so I think it fools the mind into thinking he's actually talking. Maybe that makes it worse because we kinda just know, so we didn't make him talk more. I have noticed within the past maybe 2 weeks, he's had increased frustration trying to communicate with us because there are times I have to just say "I don't know what you want" and then he's crying and tantruming.

I hate that he's different in this one stupid area and pray that the fact he is fine in all other ways means he'll improve his speech sooner than later. It doesn't really matter now but I don't want him in preschool and kindergarten and not speaking well and other kids avoid him because he's awkward and they can't talk with him or something. It also just sucks not being able to ask him questions and get to know what he thinks. It just feels like I'm missing out and he's missing out on something.

I have cried over it and just wish he was 100% "normal" but he's not and he's just behind in speech. Eric is much more relaxed about it, thinks he's fine just developing at his own pace. I think that helps rein me in from my mom-worry. But still, if you have a child that didn't or doesn't have speech issues, just be thankful!

PS. he will be attending preschool in the fall 2 days a week that also focuses on speech. I am too tired to type that all out now but we are hoping the whole socialization, structure and curriculum will help.

27 months old

Callum is now 27 months old.

He is more and more a real person everyday.

His newest thing is jumping. Daddy taught him how to jump and the way he does it is my new favorite thing in the world to watch. He just bends his knees down, then with a final pop he goes back up and straightens out his knees...without ever actually leaving the ground. He keeps his arms extended up, legitimately believing he is going to reach an object 6 feet about his head. I LOVE that blind belief that he can do it, that he is actually jumping and also that he is going to reach an object (ridiculously) far away. The day he does a real jump, my mama heart will break a little bit. I wish his unwavering belief in himself always stays with him, always thinking he can reach the ball 20 feet above his head in life.


He loves Spiderman. He loves spinning in circles. He loves dogs. He loves trains/cars/trucks. He loves running outside. He loves the children's museum. He loves putting our clothes over his head and walking around lauging. He loves running around the house naked. He can navigate on the tablet as well as I can. He likes running up and down the street, or being pushed in his little red car or the stroller. He just wants to run around stores and grab everyhing. He will pitch a fit and act like a little monster unless I bribe him with things throughout the store. He has more energy than the sun.

He has 0 interested in potty training, except to sometimes sit on the Elmo potty and flush the handle. If you ask him if he wants to sit on the potty he straight up shakes his head "No" (Ma, you are crazy!) He has no problem sitting in a diaper full of pee or poop, in fact, when he sees me coming to change him, he runs and fights me kicking and screaming. No idea what that's about other than maybe it hurts when I wipe his tush.

He is going through a separation anxiety/I WANT MY MOMMY stage. If someone talks to him, he panics and says "mamama!" while reaching for me to shield him from The Scaries. He takes my arm and makes me hold it across him in a very awkward position. Oh and by "someone" I mean anyone from a true stranger to his grandpa. He's also really sensitive and if someone tells him NO! (other than mommy and daddy) you have about a 75% chance he will burst into tears and cry for mama. Sometimes it gets to be a lot, having someone yelling for you and reaching for you all the time but I know it's a fleeting phase, and I really do cherish it.


Speech:
He has been in therapy since October, with a 6 week break after Christmas because his therapist was ill. He has made some progress but is still delayed. Last week his therapist called me to ask if we wanted to do 2 half hour sessions a week instead of 1 1-hour session. I think that will be better as well, because of attention span and to him, it'll be perceived as more frequently.

The SLP (speech language pathologist) also thinks he may have a motor planning issue. Which is different than just being delayed. When she told me that I cried, because I had images of kids with severe dyspraxia. He has NO issues with any motor skills though, besides speech. In fact, when he was evaluated by EI, he was above average in his gross and fine motor skills! He has 0 issues with any other forms of dyspraxia so if motor planning IS the issue, it's just the oromotor type. But still, you hate hearing anything is atypical with your child.

Background Lesson Time:

·         Ideomotor dyspraxia: Makes it hard to complete single-step motor tasks such as combing hair and waving goodbye.
·         Ideational dyspraxia: Makes it more difficult to perform a sequence of movements, like brushing teeth or making a bed.
·         Oromotor dyspraxia, also called verbal apraxia or apraxia of speech: Makes it difficult to coordinate muscle movements needed to pronounce words. Kids with dyspraxia may have speech that is slurred and difficult to understand because they’re unable to enunciate.
·         Constructional dyspraxia: Makes it harder to understand spatial relationships. Kids with this type of dyspraxia may have difficulty copying geometric drawings or using building blocks.[2]

Source

There is a lot of other info online about it. Some red flags his SLP noticed are his ability to say a word on his own but does NOT say it on command. He may say "train" when playing with some Thomas characters, but 3 hours later if you ask him to say "train" he just looks at you and basically ignores the request. We actually have always joked about this... he'll say a word and then never say it again. When he said "Linds" for Aunt Lindsay, he said it many times that night. I told her to enjoy it because she won't hear it again for a year. Sure enough...he hasn't really said that word again.

Another sign is high receptive language, which he has. He understands EVERYTHING everyone says. This was shown on his EI evaluation too as "high average" for receptive language. He also invents his own language. Again, my mom has commented that you'd think he had a twin because of his "fake talking" jargon. Which, jargon is a part of speech development and is totally normal and many speech delayed children continue to speak in jargon (for too long, instead of using real language). So using jargon alone isn't a sign of anything, except at this point, delayed speech. But he seriously sounds like he's talking - it's just not in English. He's animated, using his body to talk, telling stories...and I really think HE thinks we know what he's saying.


He also has trouble imitating sounds, he basically just says nothing OR using his usual sounds so for example, "more milk" sounds pretty much exactly like "Ma Ma" He also has invented a whole range of sounds and signs to communicate. For a drink he does this mouth sound, that makes him sound parched, like a dry "ha-ha." For the children's museum he does this adorable dance move (imitating when Sid The Science Kid exhibit was there, and he'd dance at it). For the tablet he makes a "Tsh" sound, imitating Spiderman shooting out his web, because he LOVES spiderman now and likes to watch him on the tablet. If you ask him if he's hungry he clucks his tongue...like a chicken. Because he LOVES chicken, and associated eating chicken with eating in general now. Dogs and trains are still a woo-woo sound, although sometimes he'll do a rudimentary "dahg" or "trn" for them, impromtu and never on command.

His SLP always says "he's so smart!" and I'm like yea yea, of course you are saying that to throw me a bone since my kid seems younger, slower, and less developed than other kids his age. She insists that he is smarter than average when compared to all the toddlers she sees, and told me it's not just to make me feel better. She said some of the kids who show "higher cognition skills," especially boys, tend to talk later. She doesn't know why, but it's just something she has seen many times. I hope that is the case with my little speech delayed genius.

He said "Ba-naa-na" clear as day at Wegman's 2 days ago in front of the banana display, and I have never been prouder, He's also been saying Nana for his grandmas, which works so I'm counting it.

Overall it is just hard having a speech delayed child. You think WHY WON"T THIS KID TALK!? ts not because anything is wrong - nothing mentally or physically. Sometimes I'm like whatever, he's 2, he'll talk eventually, some kids just talk later. And other times it's like this feeling of despair in your heart and desperation like omg my kid is Different and never going to speak and is behind his peers and has something Wrong with him.

The only 2 words he says on command are Mama and Dada. he says those CONSTANTLY. Which leads me to...

Easter:

Our family

Callum hugging his great-grandma Bea

Jumping with Aunt Alissa

Getting his Build-A-Bear from Grandpa Mark

We are alive.

The fact that I never write anymore is an ode to my life. Before Callum was born, I blogged several times a week. Now, you get several times a year.

I have been "off work" since the end of June, although I still have worked 2ish days a week at my per diem job. And I have worked 11 days in August at my regular job. School/Work starts again on the 8th, and I am looking forward to it. Sad that I will have to go to bed early and stop being nocturnal. Sad that I will have less free time. But happy to get back into our routine, have an "adult" purpose to my day, and happy to GET MONEY again. Seriously, can I just win the lottery already? I'd proably still work lol, I'd just like some money in savings and to know I could cover all my bills at any given time. And take a vacation.

We got married July 9th. It rained that day, and ruined my plans of an outside ceremony. But it still turned out perfect :) We had it at Highland Park. Originally meant to have the ceremony on the patio for the conservatory, but we had it inside the Olmsted Lodge, which is where our reception also was. We were able to take our pictures INside the conservatory, so it still worked out fine. Our wedding was small, about 85 people, and the Olmsted Lodge was a perfect spot. Our wedding party was just my sisters, Callum, and Eric's dad as the best man. Everyone says the day goes fast - and it did. We got behind while getting ready, which made us behind the rest of the day. Also there were a few snafus - like my grandma being forgotten, and the caterers getting a ticket. But overall, still a great day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

                    

 

 

Well that's over. 

Callum will be 21 months on 9/10/15. He is a little person. I don't even know where to start with all he can do. He love to watch Daniel Tiger and Sesame Street. He loves the "what's the number?" song and STOMPS his little feet during it. He especially loves when we cuddle in bed and watch reruns of Elmo's World on youtube. He loves to "clean" - he'll take the extender to the vacuum and pretend he's vacuuming. He'll grab some piece of fabric and "dust." He picks things up and throws them in the garbage - whether they are actual garbage or not lol. He picks up toys if you ask him (if he feels like it). He loves to take things out of the pantry, carry them somewhere, then carry them back and put them away when you ask.
He also will point (proudly) to pretty much all his body parts if you ask where his big belly, nose, ears, etc are. For his mouth he moves it up and down as if he was saying "nom nom nom." He will even point to his teeth and tongue. And yes, he knows where his "private parts" are. He especially likes to point to that.

 I've been trying to "teach" him how to count. He doesn't get the concept, but he recognizes the repetition. I count to 5 with my fingers and he understands "1." He will hold up his pointer finger - which also works out well when I ask him how old he is. Oh and he is OBSSESED with controllers and remotes. First thing in the morning, he runs to the living room and stares and points up at the shelf where he knows the xbox and PS4 controllers are. He throws a tantrum is he gets one and it's taken away. He is also obsessed with brushing his teeth. I got him a stool and he climbs up there and just sucks water and toothpaste off that brush, for what feels like an hour. 

He has 2906924 temper tantrums a day. And also likes to dig his nails in, and scratch. It is the worst and we don't know what to do about that mess.

I am concerned about his lack of speech however. He doesn't say many words. He imitates sounds more than anything... he says woof, moo, clucks like a chicken, vrooms cars on the floor, does a cookie monster impression. He still does some signs - more, drink, eat, all done, brush teeth. He's also starting to shake his head NO. He understands everything we say, and follows directions (when he wants). He "fake talks" -  its more than babble, it sounds like he's carrying on a gibberish conversation with the right syntax and everything. He says "eeehhh" a lot to indicate what he wants. He just doesn't say real words. I think I may contact Early Intervention just to get him evaluated. 

He was sick for a few days earlier this week. He just had a fever that varied between 100-104, depending on how the motrin was working. One day it went away but came back in the evening, and he started acting sick and lethargic. Prior to that he was still playing like normal. I dont get worried worried when he has a fever but I was thinking... isn't it crazy how I have the luxury not to worry? I mean, "a long time ago" kids got "the fever" and just died. all the time. Anytime your kid got sick or had a fever, that could have been it. People would have like, 8 kids, and 4 might die from childhood illnesses. We don't really worry like that now. As I was cuddling my feverish child in bed at 3am, I was seriously just like wow. I can't imagine the anxiety mothers had back in the day. We are so lucky.

He still wakes up during the night about 5x a week, wanting bottles of milk. I don't know how people have two children under like, 2, because he is still so very much a baby at night. He's still babyish a lot, actually.

Here he is on a boat.

With grandma Uma