11 weeks

We had our 2nd dr's appt yesterday. We met with the actual doctor this time. Despite looking like I've gained 20 lbs...i've only gained 1 pound since week 6! I don't understand it. I feel like the uterus must be pushing previously hidden fat out. Anyway he told me to aim for 20 lbs total. 

Dr. Tripp sat with us in his office (it was our first time meeting him, i switched from my dr at RGOA because since I work for Unity, it's cheaper) and talked about all kinds of things, it was very nice. He said I can eat brie cheese!!!! My favorite food lol. He said the soft cheese thing is only for unpasteurized cheeses, which tend to be European, but all the cheeses at the grocery store here are pasteurized (and i know for a fact that the one Wegmans sells is pasteurized).

 Anyway LOL, I was 11 weeks exactly, he didn't check for heart beat because he said he didn't want to make me sad if he couldnt find it. I was going to opt out of the 1st trimester screen the one that checks for Down Syndrome, but he said some women get it because you get an extra ultrasound. So I was like um yes, i want it! Originally we were told we only get the dating ultrasound (which we had at 7w3d) and then the anatomy scan at 18-20 weeks. So we go next week, I'll be 12 weeks 3 days...so excited for an extra ultrasound! 

He measured my pelvis and said it's narrow-normal, which I already knew. He said a 6lb baby will definately fit, and most likely a 7 pound. But over 8 is eh.  But he said you never know how things will change during labor. Also it was the quickest and least horrible pelvic exam I've ever had. Overall it was a really good visit...it took 1.5 hours! And he gave us his private pager number to call afterhours instead of calling the office afterhours. Score. 

Everyone tells me that being stressed is bad the baby. It's so annoying. Every aspect of my life is stressful right now. So just shut up.

Work is crazy. Patients are crazier.

We are house hunting... tomorrow I'm getting a call from a lender about getting pre-approved. This is so stressful! It's time to get out of my mom's though, that's for sure.

10 weeks - Emotional and other stuff

Tonight Eric found me in a strange predicament. Namely, I was crying my eyes out while staring at the computer.

I found a blog (blogs can be a  bad) about a widower and his daughter. So of course I read HOW he became a widower. And his wife died 24 hours after having a c-section (pulmonary embolism). Too much. Poor young woman dead just like that, and never even got to see her baby. Just too much. I have so much fear over dying during/after childbirth. It still happens. And I don't want it to happen to me. I don't want to die! I know, I should probably be a martyr or some brave soul and say it's okay if I die, as long as baby is ok. But I don't feel that way. I despretly do NOT want to die! No one can say it won't happen. It's unlikely. But still could. I like being alive.

Then I go looking for documentaries. And find one about a mother who made a doc about autism. And I got nervous, what if my child has autism. Especially low-functioning like her son. It's a very awesome doc ad I have to mention an Indian woman named Soma in TX who developed a method of working with (especially nonverbal) autistic children (because of her own son), called RPM. Amazing and if I had a child like that I'd be on the first flight down there to see her.  A Mother's Courage: Taking Back Autism - watch it.

 I know, your child can have a lot of things wrong with them. Childhood cancer, some weird rare genetic disease that no one has ever heard of, heart defect, facial deformity, Down Syndrome, some other developmental disorder, etc. I am a carrier for CF after all and for all we know my baby could have CF. But I just so much want this kid to be "normal." Healthy. Please let it be healthy!

Eric told me I cannot read/watch sad things anymore pertaining to maternal/fetal death or illness.

In other news, I did the "baking soda" test. And got a girl result!

Also, I thought I had my 1st official appt with the actual OBGYN today. CAlled to double check, and no. It's next Tuesday. Boo. I was so hoping it was today. Also I had off today, and next Tuesday I have to work. Appt is at 1:30, work at 3. Will be cutting it close!

My 2 month shot, taken at 9wks 2dys

My I have grown. 

1st Ultrasound!

Had an ultrasound on Friday May 3rd! It was a dating ultrasound and Baby measured exactly on target - my due date is still December 17th. We got to see the heart beating on the screen which was really cool!! THe heart rate was 149 bpm and measured 1.24 cm which made me 7 weeks 3 days. I am now 8 weeks and 2 days (it's after midnight). I wish I could get another ultrasound this week to see how its grown!

7 weeks, 3 days old!

They're blurry because I took a picture of the pictures!

In other news, I am so fat. But you can't tell I'm pregnant. Just look like I'm getting fat again. And I have a double chin again. I'm jealous of the girls on my What To Expect group we do a weekly belly shot and I'm jealous of the girls that have cute baby belly's already. I have an obese belly.

Casually looking at houses. It's overwhelming and I don't know if we'll even get a mortgage right now. Need more time. 

Work is crazy and I'm jealous of everyone who is going on vacation. I can't take any vacation since I have to save it up for when the baby is born for my maternity leave. I wish I lived in a random Scandinavian country where I got like 2 years paid maternity leave. Must be nice!!