19 + weeks

We had our mid-pregnancy anatomy scan today and everything looked good! (at least that's what the tech said.) Baby is still a boy. Heart rate was 147 BPM and we got to hear it. He was 11 ounces. Measuring right on target at 19w2d (a few of the head measurements were like, 20 weeks though lol.) He looks like Eric. I will bet money on the fact that this kid will look like Eric.

I hesitate to post the 3D pictures because they are creepy. And the baby looks like Eric and Homer Simpson mated. But I know that's not REALLY what he looks like... I hope.

I don't feel him move as much as I used to. I used to feel him SO much. My placenta was confirmed as anterior, which is acting as a pillow between me and the baby. Every once in a while I feel a soft kick. Also, I sometimes get weird "pressure movements" I don't know how to describe it. It's either the baby rolling or my uterus growing, or something. No idea, just a weeeeird feeling.

We went and started a registry at babies r us last weekend. A little early but I just felt like doing it. I'm glad we started early because we were there for 2 hours and only scanned like, 6 things! And if you go and stalk my registry don't judge it because I have been adding and removing things via their website, like, everyday. We still need to test out strollers (i want a travel system). And I'm not getting my crib and bedroom furniture there, or nursery decor. I plan on doing a Peter Rabbit theme :)

I got the mortgage approval letter, and I've been collecting a million documents that the mortgage company now wants. Also, I know getting approved for a mortgage is a big deal for a lot of people but it's honestly a little anticlimatic to me. Maybe I just don't excite easily. 

Anyway, now there is so much work. I am emailing and calling my attorney, his paralegal, my mortgage broker, and various other people I need things from, multiple times a day. On top of it, I cannot find my checkbook ANYWHERE. I actually went and ordered new checks online today, and paid a lot of money to rush the shipment. Because I know I need to give a $500 "good faith" deposit to the seller that I haven't paid yet (the mortgage company wants documentation that it cleared my bank account... lol well I kinda gotta write the check first). It's always something. I also got in a fight with a very pushy realtor at the bank yesterday while getting my bank statements printed (she overheard me tell the bank teller that we weren't using a realtor - I've found realtor's HATE to hear you say that.)

 And got snippy with a stupid student worker at MCC today who did not understand that I just wanted an "unofficial" printout of my transcripts, and did NOT want to wait 5 days for an unneeded official one. (Um yes, the mortgage company wants to see my recent college grades, so prove that I was actually in school - mortgage companies are crazy, ya'll). I did get homeowner's insurance today, without any real issues (yet) so that was one thing that went smoothly. The policy starts 8/15 so I hope we've closed by then. I am actually probably calling off work tomorrow to get some of my personal business done. I just have so much to do!

Oh also, still super excited that I'm gonna be working at Gates Chili in September but nervous since clearly I didn't tell them I was pregnant at the interview or when I signed all the contract stuff. Who do I even tell and when? (Attn: people who have been pregnant and worked at a school in this area - what did you do?) Gah! Also I need to get ahold of a lady in benefits and another in payroll and they never answer their phone! I'm about to call the asst. superintendent (who i met with the sign all the papers - he DID say call with any questions) to tell him my problem. It makes me nervous that I just dreamed this all up and I'm not actually gonna work there lol. I did get a letter today in the mail from NY state saying my fingerprints are a-ok and I'm cleared to work at Gates Chili, so that's a little proof at least.

I brought Sophie to Kristen's tonight and she had a playdate with Kristen's dog, Layla. Sophie is a nut and spastic. She barked for the first time in months though at least. Thanks for letting my dog invade your house Kristen!

(Almost) 18 weeks

What's new? I started this blog to write down pregnancy symptoms and pregnancy related stuff so I will list some new symptoms. Some are weird and talking about pelvises and boobs. You are warned.

My hair has gotten very thick. My hair was already thick. It's not attractive. It looks dried out and HUGE. Like, frizzy and as wide as my shoulders. Actually, I think it's almost as thick as when I was kid. My hair has thinned as I've gotten older (although, like I said, still thick). But when I was a kid it was ridiculously huge. During my middle school years, I used to cry that I hated my hair (also, it became curly/frizzy around that time, after having straight hair as a younger kid. So, along with all the other ugliness of puberty - I really was basically a hot mess (glasses, zits, breast buds, chubbiness, etc). If you notice on my facebook page, I never post pictures from those puberty years, because I am still scarred by the horror of life during that time. But I digress...)

It's reaching those giant proportions again. I pretty much throw it up on top of my head all the time. It helps that I work as a nurse and spend 40 hours a week needing it thrown up on my head anyway. (That and the fact my work apparently doesn't believe in a/c, so its pretty much like working on the Sun.)

Ive been feeling a weird pressure in my uterus area. Kinda like if you felt gas pressure across your whole lower belly. Its just a weird feeling that I have never felt before. Also, when I lay down I will push along down my stomach and its squishy-squishy-HARD. I can feel the top of the fundus too (the top of the uterus). Its gross to me. I am a nurse, and went through a maternity clinical where I was feeling funduses. No problem. But when it's your own... it just skeeves me out.

I still have random pelvic pain. Sometimes the pubic symphysis hurts, but not as bad as a few weeks ago when it first started happening. The muscles on one side hurt all the time, but not hurt-hurt, just an annoying feeling. My pelvic outlet also "aches" most of the time, but it's more annoying, not really painful. Sometimes it actually grosses me out because I almost feel like I can *feel* the pelvic outlet spreading. Ugh, I have to stop talking about it!

Also I get random shooting pains in my boobs. I assume it has to do with growing boobs or something. Not much more to say on that, just wanted to document.

I bought a Belly Band and I love it. I am able to wear my shorts from last summer - which saves me money! Also it just provides a little belly support and I like the way it smooths me out. Yes, I will probably be wearing this thing long after I am no longer pregnant.

I worry about labor and birth ALL the time. I found a blog called Hurt by Homebirth, basically a collection of birth stories by women who had thier babies die or serious consequence from choosing a homebirth. It makes me feel a little better, believe it or not. I figure even though I am scared of all the interventions at the hospital, at least the priority is keeping me and the baby alive - even if I don't love the process. Sometimes I think, maybe I wont use drugs. Just get through it and get it over with. Because yes, once you get an epidural, you are stuck laying in bed. And it notoriously starts the epidural cycle effect. It slows down the progression of labor, which means you get pitocin which makes for more painful contractions, sometimes without being dilated enough = C-Section. Or it causes the baby's heart rate to drop.  Which it means you end up with a C-Section that way too. But you know what, even though I have about a 1/3 chance of those scenarios happening, I'm starting to be okay with that. All that matters is the baby is born healthy and alive, and I don't end up maimed or dead.

Things are looking good with the house. Got a new mortgage broker, (who is the most knowledgeable and helpful person we have talked to yet in this whole process, btw) and closing costs will be a lot less expensive. There is SO much to do and all kinds of random papers and BS. Our original purchase contract is technically invalid... because the seller never initialed at the bottom of all the pages! WTH.... how did his attorney and my attorney AND our old mortgage broker not see that? Idiots. So I called my attorney and left a message like "Um hey, we need an updated contract because the mortgage underwriters will be like 'hell no, DENY.'" Except I didn't word it like that on my voicemail. Ugh, it is seriously always something. SO hopefully all these people get the message and fix it. Good news is we are officially locked in on the mortgage rate, soooo at least I can relax a little about that. I think I have post-traumatic stress disorder from this whole process, except the process isn't "post" yet LOL.

Go on Tuesday for all the details about the job I was offered; aka the money and benefits. I'm so nervous because I know it will technically be a paycut (I don't know what they are going to offer yet but i KNOW it will be a cut)...but because of the difference in cheaper benefits I dont  *think* my take-home pay will be that much less. Also this is a job that has a MUCH better scheduled, I am almost guaranteed a raise every year, and I could potentially stay in this position until I retire. Also, it'd be a really good retirement package.

Ayyy so stressful and so many things going on!!

IT'S A BOY!!!!!! (16 weeks)

Today we went to a private ultrasound place, Baby's Bungalow, all the way in North Tonawanda (yes the drive sucked) and saw the baby! The tech had trouble at first seeing in between the legs, and baby was being difficult AS USUAL and not cooperating. Then she said the umbilical cord was in the way but a second later she goes "well, can you tell what it is??" There looked like there was a penis... although I thought she had just said it was umbilical cord, so I said "is it a boy??" She said yep! it's a boy! She went on to take a few other crotch shots just to be sure. We also got to see hte baby in 4D and he was moving around SO much, she said he was a very active baby. My placenta, I learned, is on the front (anterior) section of my uterus and usually that inhibits you feeling movement earlier on, but she said with how active this baby is she is not surprised I feel him move so much!

We are super excited, but both a little in shock because we both kinda thought it was a girl. And Eric actually wanted a girl. I didn't care either way, but I had girl vibes. Before I got pregnant though I always KNEW I'd had a boy. That's why I was confused that I was getting girl vibes...because it threw off my little boy vision that I've always had. Well vibes are wrong lol and my premonition was right! And so was Eric's mom... everyone else who guessed beforehand said "girl," except for her! Early on she had a dream it was a boy... Uma, I will believe all your dreams from now on lol.

Here are the 6 pictures we got, I could have paid $10 more and gotten a DVD of the ultrasound. Eric was like you dont want to get it? I said no... but now I kinda wish I had!

This profile looks like Eric to me. He says the head isn't even developed enough, and no.

Looks like the baby is looking in a mirror... don't know what that's about lol

Heart rate was 138 BPM, lowest it's been and definitely in the "boy" range!

We went to Target after and bought 2 cute little boyish onesies. On a side note... UGH. Target has like 90% girl baby clothes and like NO boy baby clothes. Also, god forbid they have a size large maternity shorts. GOD FORBID. Target, you suck. Also, I bought a belly band and bought a size medium/large... and it's too big. I need the small/medium. One more thing to return lol. I have a running tab of returns at Target.

We had a girl's name picked out. That I LOVE. No clue on a boy's name, I seriously don't love anything for a boy. I think I may just have to accept that I will never *love* a boy's name. Sigh.

In other news... I was offered a job I REALLY want today. I cannot believe they picked me out of all their other candidates! I go July 16th to meet with the people who will give me the contract details (and pay, and benny details...) so I won't say anything more till then in case it falls through. I am seriously excited about this and cannot believe I may have this job. Terrible timing though lol, but I seriously cannot pass this up... I'm in denial that they even chose me!

Tomorrow we have a meeting with the mortgage broker. The broker called me today (while I was frantically driving, of course) and said that he had received the amended contract from our attorney so we should be good to go with the mortgage shit now. Have to bring all kinds of financial documents... that was fun finding them all tonight. I am a somewhat unorganized person, which does not bode well for finding W-2s from 2 years ago and bank statements from a few months ago. (some of this is not my fault - I live out of a bedroom at my mom's, with Eric Goggin thrown in there too. I have NO room to put anything! Now you see what we want to get into this house ASAP!) Anyway I think our mortgage interest rate will FINALLY be locked in. Now the "fun" mortgage rigmarole begins!

My "official" 4 month picture :)

On the eve of knowing

It is 2am and I am so nervous about our ultrasound tomorrow! I am excited, but also nervous. This is the last 14 hours of not knowing if we will have a son or daughter... still just a generic baby. idk why I feel nervous I just do! Eric said he does too. Our ultrasound appt is at 4pm, seems crazy that we will now know what the sex is. Seems like a big step. Some people choose not find out and be "surprised" but really, it's a surprise wheather you find our at 16 weeks or 20 weeks or birth. Eventually you DO find out no matter how long you wait, or don't wait, and it's exciting at whatever time that it. I actually like this finding out earlier... it splits up the excitement lol, and drags more exciting times out during the pregnancy.

The baby is moving SO much right now. I hope it moves tomorrow and doesn't keep it's legs crossed. However if the legs are crossed, pretty sure that means it's a girl.

I have started to get anxiety about giving birth. People like to tell you their horror stories which doesn't help.  I'm nervous of having bitchy nurses (i AM a nurse... and i know there are many bitchy nurses out there lol) and about having a doctor who is stupid and won't listen. I am scared of the pain too... but most of my fear really is about potential incompetence of the healthcare team. Because i KNOW they do stupid things all the time and ignore patients. I'm scared I'll want to walk around and they'll yell at me to stay in bed. I'm scared of having a C-section.. because I just have this feeling that's what I'll end up with. I have a smaller pelvis and it's my 1st and first babies usually take longer... and the current medical practice (which I don't agree with)  is to cut off labor after a certain time and just cut the baby out. Lastly,  I'm scared of being in chronic pain after the baby is born too for one reason or another, because I know that can also happen. I can deal with the short term pain of labor and birth... but thinking that I'll have pain that lasts for years and years... makes me terrified.

And PS. I am extremely stressed about buying this house. Right now I am waiting to hear that the seller signed the amendment to the contract. My mortgage broker needs that in order to lock in our interest rate... which meanwhile is climbing. UGH. I called the attorney today and had to leave a message... and asked him to please fax the contract to the broker when he gets it back from the seller's attorney. UGH UGH. I just want this all over with. Like nao.