It is 2am and I am so nervous about our ultrasound tomorrow! I am excited, but also nervous. This is the last 14 hours of not knowing if we will have a son or daughter... still just a generic baby. idk why I feel nervous I just do! Eric said he does too. Our ultrasound appt is at 4pm, seems crazy that we will now know what the sex is. Seems like a big step. Some people choose not find out and be "surprised" but really, it's a surprise wheather you find our at 16 weeks or 20 weeks or birth. Eventually you DO find out no matter how long you wait, or don't wait, and it's exciting at whatever time that it. I actually like this finding out earlier... it splits up the excitement lol, and drags more exciting times out during the pregnancy.
The baby is moving SO much right now. I hope it moves tomorrow and doesn't keep it's legs crossed. However if the legs are crossed, pretty sure that means it's a girl.
I have started to get anxiety about giving birth. People like to tell you their horror stories which doesn't help. I'm nervous of having bitchy nurses (i AM a nurse... and i know there are many bitchy nurses out there lol) and about having a doctor who is stupid and won't listen. I am scared of the pain too... but most of my fear really is about potential incompetence of the healthcare team. Because i KNOW they do stupid things all the time and ignore patients. I'm scared I'll want to walk around and they'll yell at me to stay in bed. I'm scared of having a C-section.. because I just have this feeling that's what I'll end up with. I have a smaller pelvis and it's my 1st and first babies usually take longer... and the current medical practice (which I don't agree with) is to cut off labor after a certain time and just cut the baby out. Lastly, I'm scared of being in chronic pain after the baby is born too for one reason or another, because I know that can also happen. I can deal with the short term pain of labor and birth... but thinking that I'll have pain that lasts for years and years... makes me terrified.
And PS. I am extremely stressed about buying this house. Right now I am waiting to hear that the seller signed the amendment to the contract. My mortgage broker needs that in order to lock in our interest rate... which meanwhile is climbing. UGH. I called the attorney today and had to leave a message... and asked him to please fax the contract to the broker when he gets it back from the seller's attorney. UGH UGH. I just want this all over with. Like nao.
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