I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore. I feel uncomfortable, I feel pregnant. And there is still so much time left! Pregnancy should not be 40 weeks, that is just too long. I mean, you spend almost a year of your life hosting a creature in your body. Being pregnant is disorienting. People always talk about women being stronger because of the pain of childbirth (which is true!) but also they are because they have to deal with their entire body changing; it's a trip. All my leg and arm muscles ache, why exactly? I don't know. My butt muscles and "butt bone" hurts all the time too. My pubic symphasis (front of my pelvis) is stretching out. You know what it feels like to have the fibrous tissue attaching 2 bones spread out? It hurts, dude. And you just have to live with it and not complain too much because no one like a whiny pregnant woman. We're supposed to act like this is normal to be in constant pain with changing body proportions. Because yes, it's not just my belly that is growing bigger. Everything is growing bigger or moving around (like that previously mentioned pelvis that is stretching out).
My little ol' uterus is now bigger than a soccer ball. And will continue to grow until it's 500x it's size. My blood volume is 50% greater. My HEART is pushed more to the left. Yes, your freaken HEART moves, that's comforting. My intestines have been moved. I had horrible gas pains the other night. SO painful. But what freaked me out the most is that the gas proved to me that my intestines have moved. They are not in the low belly like before. But all over the place, and up high by my diaphragm, where they just shouldn't be. My stomach is squished. I get constant heart burn and can only eat meals the size of a gastric bypass patient. The other night I ate cereal, and Popsicle. Got in bed and started to feel VERY nauseous; it felt like a ton of pressure in my stomach too. After about 1/2 hour of suffering I went into the bathroom and puked multiple times. First time I have really thrown up this pregnancy! As soon as I threw up I felt instantly better It's because there was no room in my squished stomach. (that was also the night that 2 hours later i woke up with the horrendous gas pains. It was a bad night.) And let's not even talk about the bladder situation. It's like having a horrible untreated UTI all the time (my UTIs are always just frequency/urgency, I've never had the burning pain like a lot of people). I will pee and then wash my hands and have to go again. Sleep is a joke just because of my bladder.
Now, let's add in the fact that another human is inside you. Moving around. Kicking all these messed up organs and making it worse. Putting weird pressure on everything.
It's weird. Just weird. And I miss how it felt to not be pregnant. I don't even remember what that feels like anymore and I'm scared after I have the baby my body will always *feel* different.
I didn't type all that just to complain. Pregnancy is always crazy, awesome, amazing, interesting, etc. But it's also just WEIRD, and uncomfortable, and downright painful too. It's a lot of things, at least to me. You won't find me waxing poetic about how I loved being pregnant, but I won't be bitching about how I hated it either.
I need a nap. I am in a bad mood because I can home from work (the new job I love) to a letter from my old job (that I dislike) stating that my date of full-time employment ended on 8/12 and that I went per diem at that time, and that my benefits ended then. NO. My last date of FT employment was 8/23, I was still working FT between those 2 dates. Called the number on the letter and the lady was no help - said to email my manager because she's the one that sent the incorrect date. You'd think that HR would be able to pull up my employment record dates, but apparently that is too much. So now I wait to see what my ex-manager has to say. I had a prenatal appt between 8/12-8/23 which means I will get a bill for that appt if they don't fix this. I even have my most recent paycheck that has my FT rate at the top and that I am a FT nurse, and the paycheck covers the dates they claim I was no longer working FT. Why are people just so stupid? I hate dealing with stupid shit like this caused by stupid people causing headaches in your life because of their stupidity.
In other news, the school year has started and I love being a school nurse. At least I got out of there and don't have to deal with my ex-job's stupidness all the time (except for those 2 per diem shifts a month...)
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