9 months pregnant

36.3 weeks. When did that happen?

Dr Appt:
I had a doctor appt today, which was kinda useless. Oh and remember that "5 pound weight gain in 2 weeks" from my appt last week? Well I LOST a pound this week. Whatevs. I'm actually online googling labors signs and losing 1-3 lbs is a sign of going itno labor soon, uh oh. I doubt it means anything though. They didn't do an internal today, I don't know why. I have another appt on Wednesday with my actual dr and I'm gonna make him do an internal then. HR was in the 130s with variability, which is good. my BP was 116/72. I found out I'm GBS + so that means I get penicillin now when I'm in labor (it's a bacteria in your gut that is normal, but if inhaled by the baby during birth can potentially cause respiratory problems). The NP was pretty nonchalant about it, and was like "eh 40-50% of our moms are carriers and if you don't make it to the hospital in time to get a dose then, eh we just keep an eye on baby." Ok then. but basically they try to give a dose of it every 6 hours while you're in labor, and it runs for 1/2 hour each time... not a huge deal

Symptoms:
I've been having what feels like period/poop cramps on and off which I think are actually false contractions. Also, while leaving the school today and while walking down the hall at my dr's, I got some really painful shooting pains, like they shot down from my lower uterus down thru my crotch. They were so bad I couldn't walk but had to stand there going "ahh owww" Whatever that is. I have never felt more unknown feelings in my life, with no way to describe them.
I'm having a shit ton of pelvic floor pressure, like he's knocking to come out. And also today I've started having a really back dull backache, just like when you get a period backache. But I'm not about to get my period lol.

My butt hurts. The "sit bone" to be more specific. Probably because a human head is in my pelvic outlet, pushing against it. But it still hurts. And sitting doesn't help....although neither does standing. Probably what would help would be getting a head out of my pelvis.

Also when I say I have to pee all the time, I would like to talk about how it feels different than when I had to pee pre-pregnancy, AND also earlier in pregnancy. It's like this painful, urgent feeling where I have to brace myself when I stand up because I get a shooting pain in my lower belly. It just doesn't feel like normal, and is yet another pregnancy symptom that I can't describe well.

We have a hospital tour scheduled for Dec 4th... hopefully I don't give birth by then. I thought we'd get a tour during our childbirth classes but no dice. If not, it's not a big deal, but I like all the insider info I can get.

PUMPS (and I'm not talking about shoes):
Called and spoke with a lady at a medical supply store. She told me what my insurance covers. What makes me laugh is how they cover a Medela single breast pump. Ain't nobody got time fo' that!! I have 2 boobs and a busy job, time is of the essence people. There is a Ameda double pump I can get for "free" too so I'll probably just get that one. Then of course 3 Medela double pumps you can pay money towards to get, no thanks. I'm also gonna find out Tuesday if/when I get a free rental of the super duper Medela pump, so if that's the case I'll be happy and just use that one (but still get the "free" one thru insurance too as a backup/why not?). And I'm also getting a Lansinoh manual pump for $20, because it actually has awesome reviews and I'd like to have an emergency pump if an electric one malfunctions or the power goes out.

Things that DON'T bother me:
1) when people touch my stomach. Idk why but doesn't really annoy me, even strangers. I am totally NOT touch-a-phobic though so maybe that's why. I like that people take interest and want to feel him, even tho he's so ornery he usually clams up.
2) stretch marks - I actually didn't really get much. I have some old ones that re-stretched but they're just the old white kind. I have a couple small red ones on my lower right side but that's it. But seriously, they're the least of my concerns. They're just cosmetic, and not like I had a super hot bod to begin with. They're not like all the other annoying symptoms that REALLY bother me!
3) any sort of breast issues. A lot of girls in my group complain about breast pain or weird leakage or whatever. my boobs have been pretty normal my whole pregnancy and haven't really even grown.

RAMBLES:
I feel like pregnancy kinda went fast but now it is DRAAAAGING. Please be December. Because I want him born but not in November, I want him to come in December lol. I have times where I have CRAZY anxiety though. First, work is stressing me out a bit - just a lot of crap going on this week and I'm SO forgetful and forgot to do something important and now it sucks. And of course I think about it when I go home so it invades my life. Then the normal about-to-give-birth anxiety and thinking of all the shit we still have to do and get. Last night I got like no sleep because I was up so late just feeling anxious. And then once I try to sleep it takes me forever to fall asleep. And then I wake up every hour or so to pee. Lol yesterday I had a student complain about being tired. Then he looked at me and goes "sorry, that's not the thing to say to you." haha insightful kid. But yea I am exhausted.

But anyway, all these annoying symptoms (besides being so tired/not sleeping - that is just terrible) don't bother me as much all of a sudden, because I suddenly feel like there is an end coming. That I won't feel like this forever. And that I just need to "enjoy" (HAHAHAHA) the end of my pregnancy with this kid, because this is it. Once he's born he's out in the world and I'll have to be away from him and I'll miss him because I'm used to him being with me 24/7, and then he'll grow into a kid and do weird kid things (why are kids so WEIRD?? lol thinking of Markie right now), and he'll grow and he'll turn into an awkward preteen (lol poor kid has no chance, judging on the awkward stages of both his parents) and then an annoying teenager, and then an adult who has their own life. Boo. So he only has a few more weeks left of fetal life. But seriously, knowing an end is coming just makes things slightly more bearable.
Also, I had something happen the other day that made me feel bad/guilty. Had a coworker come in with pad to use the bathroom and she goes "I wasn't supposed to get my period!" And here's me hugely pregnant, like "IN YOUR FACE!" So I felt bad that I was pregnant, and she was trying to be, but got bitch slapped by her menstrual cycle. Like how annoying to actively try to get pregnant, think you might be, and then get your period and you're all depressed... and then you have to go to the bathroom with a giant pregnant lady outside the door, reminding you of your unsuccessful month. Life is not fair and that made me just feel kinda guilty and sad.

Milano cookies are on sale at wegmans right now and I am chowing down!!