32 weeks

I have felt way too lazy to write, and I still do, but I really should update.

So last week, on Thursday 10/17, I called my OB's office to ask about a note taking me out of work at my per diem job. I happened to causally ask while on the phone, when I should be concerned over decreased fetal movement. The day before I hadn't felt him move as much, and he didn't pass the "kick counts." Well, they told me they wanted me to come in right then, that morning. So I had to leave work and go in. They used the doppler and his heartbeat was fine. It was heard up high on my right side which I think probably means he's still breech (sidenote: they haven't felt yet to see how he is positioned in there. I think maybe at my next regular appt. I'm dying to know). Anyway, then they sent me over to the perinatal office for a Non-Stress Test. I got to lay back in a big recliner and had the tocolytic monitors wrapped around my belly - one at the top which measures my movements (and contractions) and one on the bottom which measures baby's heartrate and movements. It took him awhile but his heart rate finally started having some variability! I had to drink apple juice and turn on my side to get him to do it. He was moving around though fine and I also wasn't having any contractions, so all was well!

And yes, I am no longer working at the hospital because it was killing me. I'm out until after baby. It'll be tougher not having that extra income, but I am so relieved.

We started our childbirth classes last night (10/21). We go for 5 Mondays, from 6:30-8:30ish. There are 6 couples there including us. Interesting note, out of 6 couples only 2 were married, 3 were engaged including us, and 1 boyfriend-girlfriend. A sign of the times. Lol I felt like a know-it-all because I knew all the answers from nursing school and everyone else was silent. Eric even called me out on it today. But yesterday was just an intro class to pregnancy and labor basics really, so going forward I won't know-it-all anymore lol. Next week is "coaches" week, all about what the coach has to do and then relaxation techniques. We definitely had the weirdest baby name. The instructor was like oh, is that a family name...? No it's not, sorry that we're not naming our kid Aidan or Sophia, or another top 3 baby name, like several other people in the class. BORING, trendy, popular names are just boooring to me Which is why I had to cross Liam off my list, even though I still do love it. Anyway. The last thing we did was watch a video of a woman in labor, and giving birth. It wasn't particularly graphic though, and focused more on her in pain during her unmedicated labor. And that made me not want to do it at all - like no thanks, I'll pass. I think I want an epidural at least. As Eric says though, I'll probably end up with a C-section anyway and all this will be pointless.

My baby shower is this coming Saturday, the 26th. I am excited and nervous. I feel kinda weird being the center of attention and having people give me gifts that I specifically asked for... but I am looking forward to it to because it'll be fun to see everyone :)

I've started taking Epsom salt baths and they help my achy bones lol. Seriously, it does help, even though taking baths is so gross. I haven't taken one in like 20 years, and bathtubs have also shrunk since that time LOL. Sometimes too I'll just get in the shower like 3 times a night with a shower cap on and have the hot water go on my back.

I still am sleeping horribly. I can't get comfortable because my bottom shoulder hurts, and my hips. But mostly my arms/shoulder and neck. And basically everything. And then whenever I move, my uterus puts additional pressure on my  bladder and I have to pee. I pee every 5-10 minutes. And when I fall asleep I wake up every hour to pee. Pee. God is a misogynist for designing the bladder to be squished under a huge heavy uterus.

Here is my comparison pic from last week (at 31 weeks). I still look somewhat similar.

Well our wallpaper border is in. And we've narrowed down a few paint colors. I want to PAINT now but eric is still being slow. He did cut and put up a dowel for our closet, so that I can move my clothes out of the nursery closet so that I can hang baby clothes in there. Although I would need the baby hangers to do that lol. But yea that is getting painting within the next few days.  Clearly I'm ready for the baby...not.

75% done

I hit 30 weeks yesterday.

This is how I look - the stripes make me look bigger honestly.

On a side note I got my hair done last friday - trimmed, shaped, and highlighted. Looks so much better, and healthier. I can't believe how much healthier. And I actually have bangs again. Somehow during pregnancy I lost my side part and this gross center part formed - causing my bangs to become gross, ugly non-bangs. She fixed that though, somehow.

HOW I AM FEELING:

I hate when people ask "how are you feeling?" because no one wants the truth lol. I feel a heavy expectation to say "faaaabulous!" But I don't feel that way lol. I mean it could be a lot worse, I don't feel bad. But I don't feel good either. I mean maybe it's "good" for being pregnant. But for normal life it's not good lol. I don't know what people expect me to say. Since you're supposed to be in pain and discomfort while pregnant, I guess not bad and can't complain too much - I could be having crazy contractions and on bedrest. And I know there is an eventual end date. But if I had to feel like this forever, I would want to die LOL. So usually I just say "alright" sometimes adding "tired!" onto it.

I don't sleep anymore. I finally fall asleep around 12:30 or 1am - I toss and turn a lot, my shoulders hurt, so the bottom shoulder that I'm laying on starts to hurt and get uncomfortable and I have to adjust my position in bed, which is a huuuuuge process. Plus I have to pee every 15 minutes so usually the "it's time to roll over" feeling is coupled with me having to get up and trek to the bathroom. Then I wake up every hour or 2 to pee again. Usually my last time is around 5:45 and I get annoyed because I get up at 6:30 so I never really fall back asleep again. I miss REAL sleep!! I try to take naps in the afternoon after work, I usually sleep for about 1.5-2 hours then, and it's the best sleep I get all day. SO yea, I'm grumpy and pessimistic.

LOTS of back pain - lower and upper, and shoulder and neck pain. And pelvic and hip pain. Basically everything hurts lol. All that pain is also what's keeping me from sleeping and waking me up. I went to the chiropractor yesterday. It helps but after a couple days it comes back full force. I want a massage too lol but those are expensive.

Brain fogginess. Ugh. I feel like an idiot all the time. I am so forgetful and just plain stupid. Which is really annoying when I'm still trying to prove myself at a new job. I feel like I look like an idiot a lot.

DOCTOR'S APPT TODAY:
 Everything was fine. Blood pressure was 114/68, pee was fine, fundus measurement perfect, fetal heart rate fine. I had some cramps at work today and he said cramps are normal as long as they're not rhythmic and regular. I've gained 18 pounds which he said is 1-2 pounds more than we'd like to see but it's okay. 5 lbs of that was in the last month though. So then I was all annoyed because everyone seems to be calling me big lately - so I was feeling like a giant fat blob. I complained to the girls in my December pregnancy group and.... I've gained some of the LEAST weight of anyone!! Most are already in the 20-something lbs range if not more. So how come *I* am considered too "fat?" Probably because I'm Lauren and I always get crap. This is what I ate today:

Breakfast: granola bar and slim fast
Mid Morning Snack: dry roasted edamame (wasabi flavored!!)
Lunch: salad: lettuce, broccoli, peppers, cheese, tuna, and a hard boiled egg with fat free french dsg. Also a wheat roll and some triscuits
Dinner: chicken breast, broccoli, pasta

I don't think I'm pigging out or eating a ton of junk. I've been trying to be careful about what I eat. How much better can I eat other than to eat less which clearly isn't right because I already don't eat quite enough calories that are recommended (but I know my body and if I eat "reccomended" calories, I blow up like a hog being fattened for slaughter) So now I want to like not gain any weight before my next appt in 3 weeks, to tell the doctors to shove it. Which I know is ridiculous and I won't do. But seriously. You told me i was ONE POUND overweight, that's like the difference of if I had had a doctors appt in the morning where you're skinnier or at the end of the day where you're more bloated (which is when my appt was). What is this, a modeling contest? Will my fat pockets start to be circled next? I'm just annoyed and want to tell everyone to go shove a fat burger into their fat mouths. </rant>

Dr said I could leave my per diem job any time I want. He said I can just tell them since I'm per diem, and don't need a dr note, but I think they'll want a note since I have a contract saying I'll work 2 shifts a month (and I know my unit.) So he said just call and he'll give me one whenever I want to stop working there. UGH. I want to stop now but I also would like the extra money. I'm scheduled to work this Saturday and next and I wanna try to tough it out but then after that be done.

I also got a flu shot today. It wasn't a normal one... it was a transdermal one, ie a little bubble put right under my skin. And preservative-free (ie no mercury). It's kind of nice, because my arm doesn't feel like I got hit my a heavyweight, just a little itchy.

ODDS and ENDS:

Kristen felt the baby kick last week!! First person to feel him - FINALLY. She said she didn't think Eric was pressing hard enough and then I thought about it, and he hadn't been. But then... a couple nights ago we think he felt a kick!! About freaken time.

I wonder what he's doing in there a lot. It has to be so boring. I mean you're just floating around with nothing to do but move your limbs around. It's dark. You've never seen the world. I know it's completely irrational, but I feel kinda bad for him sometimes like how is he not sooooo bored???

We signed up for a childbirth class, it runs on Mondays from 6:30-9, from October 21-November 18th. The last class is actually a breastfeeding class that is thrown in for "free." I'm looking forward to it because Eric needs some education LOL. Also I just think it'll help with my anxiety.

I meet with the Asst. Superintendent tomorrow to go over all my maternity leave stuff. I'm nervous. I mean I have an idea of what he will say and I shouldn't be nervous, but I am!!

We picked out a wallpaper border for the nursery!! We're going to paint and then put this border down

 Well I want to paint, Eric still thinks we should leave the walls ivory because he thinks it looks good. No it doesn't. The colors in the border match perfect with the bedding, and the animals in it do too. I also like that it's the alphabet because I think that's cute in nurseries, and now I can bring that secondary theme into the room. We need to get started on the room though. No energy.

28 weeks

Sometimes I still forget i'm pregnant. Which I know is funny seeing as how I am getting huge, but when I'm busy and he's not moving much, I forget. And then I'm like oh yea.... And then I am hit with the fact that a person is living inside of me all over again. Sometimes it still doesn't feel real. He just gave me 2 huge kicks under my ribs as I typed that. Probably to remind me that he's real.

So earlier I took a nap. I went to get out of bed and... was hit with the worst leg cramp I have ever felt. Calling it a leg cramp is an understatment. I could not move my leg. Like the whole thing. Then from the calf to ankle it went into this involuntary contracture that you could see indenting through the skin. It was SO painful but also freaking me out so much because it looked gross and alien too. Usually with a cramp I get up and try to walk it off, flex my foot up, try to run warm water over the muscle, etc. But like I said, I could not move the leg!! It was like the muscle contraction was paralyzing it. Eric went and wet a towel with hot water and wrapped it around my leg and rubbed, and it helped a little. it FINALLY started to go away and eric helped me limp to the shower where i hosed down the muscle with warm water. Ugh. And in the middle of it all Sophie had to come in and investigate and was all up in my business - so ridiculous. I don't have any bananas to eat either, although I took a calcium pill which also helps. I'm so scared this will happen again!!

I do find though that most pregnancy symptoms in general are pretty tolerable - because you know what is causing them. Fear of the unknown definitely plays a role in the random pains you normally get causing you distress. But when you're pregnant, you know the reason. Before I was pregnant I thought i'd be a nervous twit when I was... but I really don't think I am. The only time I ever called my dr about anything was when I fell in the hallway at work walking down for my yearbook picture (lol) and other people told me to call just to be safe (i was fine.) But damn the sheer pain of that leg thing before was terrible. Also, I have random nights where I just feel "achey" and "off"... and tonight is turning into one. I'm actually feeling a little nauseous now. Sometimes I randomly throw up too - it's not even like an "oooo i'm so sick" puke just a random nausea, I puke, and feel better and go about my business. I'm pretty sure it's just because my stomach is being compressed. It doesn't happen everyday; maybe once a week. 

So I failed my 1 hour glucose screen. Apparently something like 40% of women do (it's very inaccurate and I don't think it should even be used!) but I know I am unlucky with everything, so I was worried I had the 'betes. All I was imagining was Wilfred Brimley on a horse talking about diabetic testing supplies and having to poke myself and I wanted to throw up. (Yes, I am a nurse and stick needles in people all the time but it';s different when it's YOU!)

So, last Saturday I had to go in for the 3 hour test. Basically, it sucked. I went to the new ACM lab though on Elmgrove Rd, and it was awesome. I will never go to another lab again. Most labs are dingy, old, cramped waiting rooms, kinda ghetto in general. This new one has a big waiting room with lots of windows, it very clean, had a TV that was playing I Love Lucy and then The Golden Girls (2 of my fav shows ever!!!), and good staff. I had to fast, then go in at 8:30am and get my fasting blood drawn, then drink 100 grams of sugar (SO GROSS. The 1 hour test is only 50 grams and didn't taste that bad) then get my blood drawn an hour later, 2 hours later, and 3 hours later. 4 times total all out of the same vein - it's still bruised. The first hour was the worst because my body was dealing with the sugar rush and it was making me sooooo tired and I was super hungry and also nauseous from the sugar drink. But anyway I was told yesterday that i PASSED. So no gestational diabetes for me. 

Oh and when I finally went to leave at 11:45, I couldn't find my keys. I went up to the desk after searching for like 10 mins, and the receptionist was like oh they're yours!! I should have known, you're the only one that 's been there the whole time. Pregnancy brain?. Except honestly, I lose my keys all the time, all over the place. So really, I can't blame it on anything other than my own inherent absentmindedness.

For my own records, my BG level for the 1 hour was 173 - pretty high (failing is over 140). My numbers for the 3 hour were all passing: 85 (fail is over 95), 170 (fail is over 180), 147 (fail is over 155), 137 (fail is over 140). If you fail more than 2 numbers then you have gestational diabetes. I find it weird that my BG was actually LOWER 1 hour after drinking 100g of sugar than it was 1 hour after drinking only 50g of sugar. Only thing I can think of is a) i was a candy-a-holic the week before the 1 hour and b)I didn't fast as much before. Whatever, I'm happy I passed.

I am tired all the time in general though and have no energy. I wish I had more energy and motivation to work on my new house but I just don't. The smallest task seems so monumental. Just keeping the house semi-cleaned is enough work, let alone finding places for things, decorating etc. We still have shit to move from my mom's house that we need to borrow a truck for - it keeps getting put off. I bought curtains for our bedroom and eric put them up today... and I don't like them lol. So now I have to return them and get something new, and that task seems so daunting to do. 

In general I really don't feel awful, even though I just spent an entire entry complaining. It's really neat to feel him kick and move. I have been getting Brazton-Hicks contractions more and more. When they started around 20 weeks it was every few days. Now it's every couple hours. At least I think they're BH. I asked the nurse practitioner and she didn't really give me a good answer - just said yea they probably are. They don't hurt, just feel like a weird pressure. 

Oh we got the bedding for the baby's room. http://www.buybuybaby.com/store/product/kidsline-safari-party-crib-bedding-collection/208453?categoryId=32003  I have no idea how to paint the nursery and I don't like Eric's suggestions. This is too hard.

27 weeks - 3rd Trimester

I will be 27 weeks on Tuesday (so basically in a day). That officially starts not only Month 7, but also the THIRD TRIMESTER. In case you were unaware, that is the last one. No more trimesters after that. At the end of the 3rd you get a baby. Sometimes I stop and really think about it and I cannot imagine having a child. I do not know how to be someone's mom. I feel like I am so busy as it is, how will I add a kid to the mix. Obviously, I know that logically, some really stupid people have kids and manage it, so I will too. It's actually better to not think about it too much, to go through the motions of preparing for baby, without being introspective about it because I think doing so would make many people have a freaken anxiety attack.

According to the internets, the baby is around 15 inches and 2.5 lbs now. While that is small for a full term baby, that seems huge to me lol. I can't believe a person that big is living in my body.

Oh also I am having lots of fear about giving birth. About dying but also just the thought of having to do it is so surreal. Childbirth is something that other women do, not me. I really don't want to do it either. Because it is painful but also because it is weird.  I've never been hospitalized before, the whole thing is just so strange. Weird to be in a hospital, to be poked around, just the process itself is SURREAL.

I took these last week:

lol I cannot take pics in a mirror. 26 weeks.

26 weeks

Owning a house is exhausting. Well not really, but it's impossible to keep it all tidy and neat. As soon as you clean something, something else is a mess. Add in the fact that I get home from work at 3pm (yes, I am so lucky that I get out that early everyday) and I'm so damn tired that I usually spend about an hour attending to what I like to refer to as my "personal secretarial business" (phone calls, etc. There's a lot of companies and people to contact when you take on 50 new bills, get a new job - ie new income and insurance, and a new house with it's tax situation.) and then I nap till like 6pm. Then have to run errands, try to be home by 8:30. I have to eat at some point (and clean up all that). Then shower and my hair, and that's when I get chores and cleaning done too. I should be in bed by 10:30 but I consider 11:30 a good time. Up at 6:30am.

Oh also we still have things at my mom's to move, and we really need to oh, i don't know, set up and decorate rooms besides the living room. It's hard to find time to do that. This weekend I was up at 9 on Saturday to go to that glucose test. Home at 12. Ate, nap from 1-2:15. Worked 3-11:30, went to my mom's until 12:30am because I was needed. Today was "Bills Day" where Eric is useless after like noon. I had errands and groceries to get anyway. Life is busy. How do people find time to decorate entire houses? I don't understand.

Anyway, I changed my mind about the baby bedding. Friday night I went to Buy Buy Baby and found a set that I REALLY like. So no more Peter Rabbit theme, and going with this one instead. I know in the long run it doesn't matter at all, but little things like this are nice to focus on lol.

As mentioned, I had my glucose screen (the screening for gestational diabetes) done on Saturday 9/14. I pray to god I pass. The drink itself didn't taste terrible. Except apparently they usually have it refrigerated but they had none in the fridge, so I had to drink it room temp. The workers didin't give a shit; they were working at a lab on a Saturday morning - enough said about their level of morale. But having it cold would have made it soooo much better. I actually struggled more with getting the sheer volume of the liquid down. My stomach is so squished that I can't eat/drink large amts anymore. This other pregnant chick came in like 10 mins after me and chugged hers down. You have 5 mins to drink it and she was done like a minute before me, despite starting after me. They had to "yell" at me to finish it. I could never chug now, I think I would literally puke (actually, i HAVE thrown up a few times lately from pressure/over full stomach. Never threw up during early pregnancy, but NOW is the time I do it lol). Anyway, I felt very judged, like I wasn't as compliant, since I couldn't chug it too. The sugar drink made me feel sleepy, and made the baby feel very kicky. It was incredibly boring to sit in the waiting room for an hour too, so if I fail and have to do the 3 hour test, I will be super annoyed that I have to sit there for 3 HOURS.

He kicks and moves a lot but I'm the only one that he does it for lol. You can feel him doing it if you put your hand on my belly - in theory. Because as soon as someone, besides me, tries to feel, he stops. It's kind of neat to think though that I'm the only one in the entire world that is *physically* aware of his presence. I mean, someday, during the course of his life, thousands and thousands of people will be aware of his physical presence. But for now, there's just one, and that is me. And I'm the first. But it would be nice if he stopped making such a liar out of me. Also, every time I decide to go to a store, he decides to sit on my bladder or something. It's not a feeling you get when not-pregnant. It's just a weird sudden pressure on my bladder so even though I technically probably don't have much pee in me - I need to run to a bathroom. I wish I knew how he was positioned in there actually. I feel kicks and flutters and movements all over so I think (?) he still has enough room to roll around in there. I have a dr's appt Wednesday and I plan on asking about that.

25 weeks, kinda annoyed.

I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore. I feel uncomfortable, I feel pregnant. And there is still so much time left! Pregnancy should not be 40 weeks, that is just too long. I mean, you spend almost a year of your life hosting a creature in your body. Being pregnant is disorienting. People always talk about women being stronger because of the pain of childbirth (which is true!) but also they are because they have to deal with their entire body changing; it's a trip. All my leg and arm muscles ache, why exactly? I don't know. My butt muscles and "butt bone" hurts all the time too. My pubic symphasis (front of my pelvis) is stretching out. You know what it feels like to have the fibrous tissue attaching 2 bones spread out? It hurts, dude. And you just have to live with it and not complain too much because no one like a whiny pregnant woman. We're supposed to act like this is normal to be in constant pain with changing body proportions. Because yes, it's not just my belly that is growing bigger. Everything is growing bigger or moving around (like that previously mentioned pelvis that is stretching out).

 My little ol' uterus is now bigger than a soccer ball. And will continue to grow until it's 500x it's size. My blood volume is 50% greater. My HEART is pushed more to the left. Yes, your freaken HEART moves, that's comforting. My intestines have been moved. I had horrible gas pains the other night. SO painful. But what freaked me out the most is that the gas proved to me that my intestines have moved. They are not in the low belly like before. But all over the place, and up high by my diaphragm, where they just shouldn't be. My stomach is squished. I get constant heart burn and can only eat meals the size of a gastric bypass patient. The other night I ate cereal, and Popsicle. Got in bed and started to feel VERY nauseous; it felt like a ton of pressure in my stomach too. After about 1/2 hour of suffering I went into the bathroom and puked multiple times. First time I have really thrown up this pregnancy! As soon as I threw up I felt instantly better  It's because there was no room in my squished stomach. (that was also the night that 2 hours later i woke up with the horrendous gas pains. It was a bad night.) And let's not even talk about the bladder situation. It's like having a horrible untreated UTI all the time (my UTIs are always just frequency/urgency, I've never had the burning pain like a lot of people). I will pee and then wash my hands and have to go again. Sleep is a joke just because of my bladder.

Now, let's add in the fact that another human is inside you. Moving around. Kicking all these messed up organs and making it worse. Putting weird pressure on everything.

It's weird. Just weird. And I miss how it felt to not be pregnant. I don't even remember what that feels like anymore and I'm scared after I have the baby my body will always *feel* different.

I didn't type all that just to complain. Pregnancy is always crazy, awesome, amazing, interesting, etc. But it's also just WEIRD, and uncomfortable, and downright painful too. It's a lot of things, at least to me. You won't find me waxing poetic about how I loved being pregnant, but I won't be bitching about how I hated it either.

I need a nap. I am in a bad mood because I can home from work (the new job I love) to a letter from my old job (that I dislike) stating that my date of full-time employment ended on 8/12 and that I went per diem at that time, and that my benefits ended then. NO. My last date of FT employment was 8/23, I was still working FT between those 2 dates. Called the number on the letter and the lady was no help - said to email my manager because she's the one that sent the incorrect date. You'd think that HR would be able to pull up my employment record dates, but apparently that is too much. So now I wait to see what my ex-manager has to say. I had a prenatal appt between 8/12-8/23 which means I will get a bill for that appt if they don't fix this. I even have my most recent paycheck that has my FT rate at the top and that I am a FT nurse, and the paycheck covers the dates they claim I was no longer working FT. Why are people just so stupid? I hate dealing with stupid shit like this caused by stupid people causing headaches in your life because of their stupidity.

In other news, the school year has started and I love being a school nurse. At least I got out of there and don't have to deal with my ex-job's stupidness all the time (except for those 2 per diem shifts a month...)

I'm alive! 24 weeks 2 days

HOUSE:
So we bought a house! It was crazy and actually the closing was pretty anticlimactic. Just sat at a table with our attorney and signed some (ok, a million) papers.  Also, NY state sucks – the amt being escrowed for my taxes is more than the actual mortgage.  My mortgage payment is like 40% actual mortgage 60% for my property taxes/mortgage insurance. DUMB. I already knew it was like this since I worked paying delinquent property taxes around the country for 3 years. So I saw the property tax rates everywhere, and saw that most other states pay peanuts for their property taxes compared to here. But it still hurts when it happens to you LOL.

  The seller’s attorney hadn’t given our attorney a house key though which was so stupid. Hello, how are we supposed to get in. Luckily we know the neighbor across the street, and she had a key to the house, so we could get in. But moving was a PIA with coordinating when we were gonna get move all the heavy furniture. Which we still haven’t moved a lot of. Thanks to my parents though for all the help. and also Eric's mom and sister for all the kitchen stuff!

We have been having fun setting things up. We’re starting from scratch and that is hard – don’t even wanna think about the money spent on things. Also, why are window treatments so insanely expensive?  There's lots to clean. Basically cleaning, buying, setting up, taking down, making returns, buying more, cleaning more, organizing. Buying more. That has been the theme so far. All our utilities are hooked up and ready to go now... got Frontier internet yesterday and I reccomend it. Way cheaper than TWC and so far, no difference in speed. I'm online, watching a video on MTV and Eric is on his Xbox doing some online gaming and no difference than when we did this on cable internet. And they give you the modem/router for free and it's a nice router that we got too. Just a little plug for them lol.

But yea, having our own house is awesome and I can’t believe we get to STAY here (well lets hope we can after that first mortgage payment comes due LOL). Still doesn’t feel real!!

I'm posting pics on facebook soon of the house...

BABY:

Had a doctors appt Friday, the 23rd.  Everything was good. He went over the 20 week anatomy scan (again) and said everything was textbook perfect.  Fluid levels were perfect, ventricles in the brain were good, 4 chamber heart was good, all organs were good, bones were good, etc. He measured my belly, they measure from the top of your pubic bone to the top of your fundus (which is the top of your uterus) and it should be about the same amount of centimeters as the amount of weeks pregnant you are. I was 23 weeks (and 3 days) pregnant and it measured 23 cm, so that was spot on. I have gained 10lbs officially from my first appt at 6 weeks (although it is more like 12-13lbs based on pre-preg weight). They said that is very good. He also reviewed my 1^st trimester screen results which were also all good. He said the blood test said my Down Syndrome risk was 1 in 5500. The average for my age is 1 in 1200-ish, so I’m very good. I feel very lucky to be having such a healthy pregnancy, because I know there’s a million things that could go wrong and know that a lot of people have difficulties. I hope things continue to go ok…

I feel him kick a lot, especially the past few days. Although I don't really keep track of how often. He has been kicking me the bladder a lot and rolling on it. It makes me go from not having to pee to suddenly having to pee SO bad. The other night I was on the couch and got such a hard kick I almost peed my pants, like i don't know how it didn't happen. My newest annoying symptom is terrible acid reflux. I have a burning in my stomach and it's so bad it makes me cough a lot. I'm probably OD'ing on Pepcid and Tums but it's so bad!

Sleeping is okay right now, I go through phases where a few weeks I sleep like shit and a few weeks I sleep okay. I still can sleep on my stomach a little bit, but have to adjust my belly to the side. However, sleeping on my side is actually more comfortable...surprisingly. I used to hate side sleeping. I have a comforter on each side of me and depending on which side I roll onto, I contour the comforter into a body pillow. I highly recommend this. A regular body pillow doesn't get those nooks and crannies like the comforter setup does.  Also, I should add, I hate rolling over because without fail, my heavy uterus rolls over my bladder in the process, and I have to pee. I stay on one uncomfortable side praying that I just magically fall asleep because I don't wanna get up to pee when i do the rollover. I wake up about every 2 hours to pee and I pee about 4-5x while trying to fall asleep. Overall, about 8 times a night. Annoying.

This is me at 24 weeks 3 days. Aka 6.5 months.

We have a tentative name picked out but I'm too scared to share because I'm scared of the judgement and stupid things people say. Although many people already know it, some people who ask I say we're not sure because I don't wanna share. It's kinda of hit or miss depending on the mood I'm in, if I'm going to share or not lol. The initials are CJG. Could definitely still change.

I have to go between 9/10-9/24 for my 1 hour glucose test. I hope I pass. I'm scared. Of course my insurance is changing Sept 1st and I know it'll be my luck that it'll take forever for my new insurance cards to come so I'm actually more stressed about the billing situation during that time than the actual test itself. Also I'm AM scared they'll tell me I have the 'betes. Especially since my newest food craving is candy. In particular, I go to the bulk section and get a bag of sour patch kids (heavy on the red ones) and then a bag of the pic-a-mix candy of mostly pink Starbursts (with a few other colors for good measure), caramel cremes, and a few peppermint patties. And also fruit snacks are delicious too. Sugar!

I feel like EVERYONE is pregnant right now. Seriously, i didn't know there was a bandwagon, but apparently I got on it back in March/April. Can't wait for my stop though, getting tired of this wagon ride.

WORK:

I love my job. I'm on "summer pay" right now (an hourly rate above & beyond my salary - i'm a 10 month employee. the hourly rate is actually more than my rate at the hospital!) and just got my first paycheck!I won't get my first salaried paycheck till Sept 21st though. Working an evening shift this weekend at the hospital, not really looking forward to it but the extra money is nice.

IN CLOSING:
I am watching Teen Mom 3 right now and I don't know how teen girls can do this, when I am 28 and pregnant and don't know how I'm gonna take care of a baby. All in all though I am in a good place and probably the happiest I've been so far in my adult life. Which kind of scares me because I feel like you shouldn't be *too* happy because then God/karma/fate will take it away. Or a crying baby at 3am. 

Halfway there

21 weeks on Tuesday. We had a doctors appt this past tuesday (20 weeks). Everything was good. Everything with the anatomy scan (ie the "big" ultrasound) looked NORMAL. They yelled at me for never going to get tested for spina bifida and some other stuff. I honestly forgot, since I have soooo much going on. Plus, I mean, wouldn't shit like that show up on the ultrasound anyway? They said I have until I'm 22 weeks + 6 days so there's still time. It's just like... ugh when do I have time to go sit in a lab waiting room to have blood drawn, when there's really no point anyway. Not like finding out really changes anything if something WAS wrong. And the ultrasound was normal anyway, no holes seen in baby's spine. Blah maybe I'll still go because I like looking like a compliant patient. I felt the same way about the cystic fibrosis test when they told me I was a carrier and Eric should get tested. Didn't feel like paying all the money for him to get tested... when it doesn't change our DNA, and since the baby was already created, doesn't change his DNA either. What's the point, when you can't DO anything about it???

Other than that, we heard baby's heartbeat, it was in the 140s and there was all this random static and the doctor said that static was him moving. We met with the other dr at that practice, which was cool since she could be the one there when I deliver. I love Dr. Tripp, but I liked this doctor too.

I've gained about 9 pounds.  Well according to the doctor's office it's only 6.5 pounds, but that was based on my weight at my first doctors appt - which was when I was already 6 or 7 weeks pregnant.  I am going by my weight on literally the day I found out I was pregnant, at like 3 weeks 5 days, (yes I found out eaaaaarly), which I call my "pre-pregnancy" weight. So based on my weight THAT day, it's really 9 pounds. She said that was great and on target. I feel like I've gained 20 - I feel SO fat. They told me to shoot for about 20 pounds total and I really want to watch that since I spent a lot of time losing weight before getting pregnant. I worked so hard and I don't want to ruin that work.

Tired all the time. Some of that is probably stress related. And my pelvic bones ache all the time - not painful, but annoying. I don't even notice it usually since I'm so used to it.

I hate how all baby stuff is either: PINK PINK RIBBON FLUFF or BLUE BLUE BROWN SPORTS. What happened to a baby just being... an infant. Not genderized? I actually read an article that first off, up until the 1940s boys wore pink and girls wore blue - but mostly all babies wore white, unisex baby clothes. Most baby clothes were pretty unisex until the mid 1980s when finding out baby's sex via ultrasound before birth became popular. It was around then that the dichotomy started. Idk, it's just so overdone. Infants don't know they are a boy or a girl, they're a baby. We were at Kohl's today and I looked at the baby section. I kinda was not feeling anything. There was 1 rack of blue and brown clothes for boys - some with sports and monkey pictures on them. Then 4 racks of baby girl clothes, of course,- all pink and purple with ruffles. Just... it's a little boring. Don't get me wrong, I still think most clothes are cute!  This is just something I've noticed that is kinda annoying.

I start working 2 jobs on Tuesday. Last week Gates called me and asked if I could start sooner than 9/3. How soon? In a week. Lol ok then. They need me for sports physicals and to train me all up before school starts. Well I'm still stuck at my current job until we close on the house . So I'll be working 7am-11am at the school, and then 3-11:30pm at the hospital. The school wants me full time but for now said it's okay to work just in the mornings. UGHHHH. Not sure when we're closing, still waiting. SO SICK OF WAITING. Especially now that I'm pregnant and working 16.5 hour days every day because I'm stuuuuck. I've turned in ALL the documents they wanted except the copy of the cancelled check for the "good faith" deposit I had to give to the seller's attorney. Well they haven't cashed it yet... so I can't exactly give the mortgage company a copy of a cancelled check that hasn't been cashed, can I? Got our appraisal report... everything was good and no repairs to the property were required, yay. My attorney's office said they needed my homeowner's insurance binder in order to set the closing date... I had that sent on Friday. So hopefully within the next couple days they give me a GD closing date!! Insurance starts on 8/15 sooo I'd kinda like us to be owners of the house we're paying insurance on. Buying a house sucks major major ASS. I don't ever want to do this again!!

Not sure how my current job will take it when I'm like heeeey I'm quitting. Like tomorrow. They know I'm leaving but they think in September. Hopefully they still let me work per diem after I piss them off by quitting fulltime sooner than expected. Totally stressed about this!!