36.3 weeks. When did that happen?
Dr Appt:
I had a doctor appt today, which was kinda useless. Oh and remember that "5 pound weight gain in 2 weeks" from my appt last week? Well I LOST a pound this week. Whatevs. I'm actually online googling labors signs and losing 1-3 lbs is a sign of going itno labor soon, uh oh. I doubt it means anything though. They didn't do an internal today, I don't know why. I have another appt on Wednesday with my actual dr and I'm gonna make him do an internal then. HR was in the 130s with variability, which is good. my BP was 116/72. I found out I'm GBS + so that means I get penicillin now when I'm in labor (it's a bacteria in your gut that is normal, but if inhaled by the baby during birth can potentially cause respiratory problems). The NP was pretty nonchalant about it, and was like "eh 40-50% of our moms are carriers and if you don't make it to the hospital in time to get a dose then, eh we just keep an eye on baby." Ok then. but basically they try to give a dose of it every 6 hours while you're in labor, and it runs for 1/2 hour each time... not a huge deal
Symptoms:
I've been having what feels like period/poop cramps on and off which I think are actually false contractions. Also, while leaving the school today and while walking down the hall at my dr's, I got some really painful shooting pains, like they shot down from my lower uterus down thru my crotch. They were so bad I couldn't walk but had to stand there going "ahh owww" Whatever that is. I have never felt more unknown feelings in my life, with no way to describe them.
I'm having a shit ton of pelvic floor pressure, like he's knocking to come out. And also today I've started having a really back dull backache, just like when you get a period backache. But I'm not about to get my period lol.
My butt hurts. The "sit bone" to be more specific. Probably because a human head is in my pelvic outlet, pushing against it. But it still hurts. And sitting doesn't help....although neither does standing. Probably what would help would be getting a head out of my pelvis.
Also when I say I have to pee all the time, I would like to talk about how it feels different than when I had to pee pre-pregnancy, AND also earlier in pregnancy. It's like this painful, urgent feeling where I have to brace myself when I stand up because I get a shooting pain in my lower belly. It just doesn't feel like normal, and is yet another pregnancy symptom that I can't describe well.
We have a hospital tour scheduled for Dec 4th... hopefully I don't give birth by then. I thought we'd get a tour during our childbirth classes but no dice. If not, it's not a big deal, but I like all the insider info I can get.
PUMPS (and I'm not talking about shoes):
Called and spoke with a lady at a medical supply store. She told me what my insurance covers. What makes me laugh is how they cover a Medela single breast pump. Ain't nobody got time fo' that!! I have 2 boobs and a busy job, time is of the essence people. There is a Ameda double pump I can get for "free" too so I'll probably just get that one. Then of course 3 Medela double pumps you can pay money towards to get, no thanks. I'm also gonna find out Tuesday if/when I get a free rental of the super duper Medela pump, so if that's the case I'll be happy and just use that one (but still get the "free" one thru insurance too as a backup/why not?). And I'm also getting a Lansinoh manual pump for $20, because it actually has awesome reviews and I'd like to have an emergency pump if an electric one malfunctions or the power goes out.
Things that DON'T bother me:
1) when people touch my stomach. Idk why but doesn't really annoy me, even strangers. I am totally NOT touch-a-phobic though so maybe that's why. I like that people take interest and want to feel him, even tho he's so ornery he usually clams up.
2) stretch marks - I actually didn't really get much. I have some old ones that re-stretched but they're just the old white kind. I have a couple small red ones on my lower right side but that's it. But seriously, they're the least of my concerns. They're just cosmetic, and not like I had a super hot bod to begin with. They're not like all the other annoying symptoms that REALLY bother me!
3) any sort of breast issues. A lot of girls in my group complain about breast pain or weird leakage or whatever. my boobs have been pretty normal my whole pregnancy and haven't really even grown.
RAMBLES:
I feel like pregnancy kinda went fast but now it is DRAAAAGING. Please be December. Because I want him born but not in November, I want him to come in December lol. I have times where I have CRAZY anxiety though. First, work is stressing me out a bit - just a lot of crap going on this week and I'm SO forgetful and forgot to do something important and now it sucks. And of course I think about it when I go home so it invades my life. Then the normal about-to-give-birth anxiety and thinking of all the shit we still have to do and get. Last night I got like no sleep because I was up so late just feeling anxious. And then once I try to sleep it takes me forever to fall asleep. And then I wake up every hour or so to pee. Lol yesterday I had a student complain about being tired. Then he looked at me and goes "sorry, that's not the thing to say to you." haha insightful kid. But yea I am exhausted.
But anyway, all these annoying symptoms (besides being so tired/not sleeping - that is just terrible) don't bother me as much all of a sudden, because I suddenly feel like there is an end coming. That I won't feel like this forever. And that I just need to "enjoy" (HAHAHAHA) the end of my pregnancy with this kid, because this is it. Once he's born he's out in the world and I'll have to be away from him and I'll miss him because I'm used to him being with me 24/7, and then he'll grow into a kid and do weird kid things (why are kids so WEIRD?? lol thinking of Markie right now), and he'll grow and he'll turn into an awkward preteen (lol poor kid has no chance, judging on the awkward stages of both his parents) and then an annoying teenager, and then an adult who has their own life. Boo. So he only has a few more weeks left of fetal life. But seriously, knowing an end is coming just makes things slightly more bearable.
Also, I had something happen the other day that made me feel bad/guilty. Had a coworker come in with pad to use the bathroom and she goes "I wasn't supposed to get my period!" And here's me hugely pregnant, like "IN YOUR FACE!" So I felt bad that I was pregnant, and she was trying to be, but got bitch slapped by her menstrual cycle. Like how annoying to actively try to get pregnant, think you might be, and then get your period and you're all depressed... and then you have to go to the bathroom with a giant pregnant lady outside the door, reminding you of your unsuccessful month. Life is not fair and that made me just feel kinda guilty and sad.
Milano cookies are on sale at wegmans right now and I am chowing down!!
Friday, November 22, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
Things are moving along! And feeding fears
Doctors appt today (35 weeks 3 days):.
Baby is head down and head is ENGAGED. That means his head is already in my pelvis, and I think she said he's at + 3 station. Which is as far down as baby can get without actually starting to crown (she said it to the medical student not to me, so I'm like did she really say +3?? Cuz that means his head made it past the ischial spines already, which means he FITS through my pelvis. Every OBGYN ever has told me I have small pelvis and may need a Csection. So...IN YOUR FACE).
here's a baby at + 2 because I can't find a stock image showing the head at + 3. But yea, my baby's head is even lower than this ones. but you get the idea. Basically a fetal head is all up in my pelvis. No wonder my butt is aching right now.
Anyway, I'm so glad that he's not breech! That explains all my pelvic pressure. His back is along my right side. They swabbed me for GBS, I'll find out next week if it was positive or not. I let a medical student come in so I had everything done twice lol. I am dialated about 1 cm and my cervix is soft. She said it's 1 fingertip dilated which she knows is 1 cm. And a firm cervix feels like your nose, mine has softened to feeling like your lips. By the time of birth it's as thin as a piece of paper, so it's slowly effacing (i think she said something like 30% effaced to the med student). She said I will not make it to 40 weeks... that's okay by me! But I want to make it till December at least. The best part.... they could feel his head with their finger through my cervix!! (Gross i know) But that is so freaky!! My Bp was good, 116/72. She said my ankles and hands are a little swollen, although I don't see it.
I apparently gained 5 lbs in 2 weeks but this is what I think happened. Last appt, I was stepping on the scale and grabbed onto the handicap bar next to the scale. The nurse took my weight while my hand was still on there, which I thought might have made me weigh less. So now that i'm 5lbs up this appt, I'm pretty sure that's what happened because there is no way I really gained that much weight!
BREASTFEEDING:
So I plan to breastfeed, like many women do. I was originally pretty confident about it (i don't mean the decision, I mean my ability) but now I am... panicking. It seems complicated. It seems weird. Yes, it does, sorry I just offended and pissed off like all kinds of breastfeeding Nazi's by saying that - but it does. I also have no clue how to coordinate it. I mean, fine, you have the time to spend a million hours a day dealing with it while on maternity leave. But I have a countdown clock, about 8 weeks, to figure it all out and have things run smoothly. Also, with my insurance, you can't even buy a pump till after the baby is born. Then you send in the receipt for reimbursement, up to $175. So I won't even have a pump right away... giving me even less time to figure it out and get myself ready to return to work.
What if things aren't running smoothly by then? Also not only do I have 8 weeks to get breastfeeding down, but I also have to get the baby to take a bottle, AND become efficient at pumping within that time. What if he hates a bottle? If I get no milk out while pumping or it takes for-ever to get any? I see why some mothers may give up - it can potentially be a nightmare. The flip side is formula which honestly, the biggest thing that keeps me away from that is the cost - I don't get how people can afford it. Unless you just don't eat yourself and put that money towards formula. I got some samples from Similac and Enfamil in the mail and I won't lie, I felt some relief that if need be, I have some subsistence in the house to feed this kid. But no way could we afford that stuff on the regular.
So basically I'm kinda freaking out and feel like a partial failure already because it just feels like too much to juggle it all. And even admitting that makes you sound like the poor, overwhelmed mother who just needs a good lactation consultant to hold your hand. I feel like many women's feelings over this are also not validated at all. Everything you read and the advice you get is kinda annoying. "Don't give up!" It takes times!" Basically the advice sounds so obnoxious - like the kind of advice doctors and nurses give that doesn't feel like it applies to the real world, and you just nod your head while thinking "suuuure." To sum up what I've read, the advice is to commit your whole life to breastfeeding. Maybe my surge of maternal hormones will make me feel cool with this commitment but right now all I feel is "ugh - I'm exhausted just thinking about dealing with it." And most of the advice is, I think, geared to mothers who have all day to sit at home and BF (who has time for this!?). Because that's kinda what they say - you have to spend all day trying and don't give up. Well what if you're not physically with your baby for 7.5 hours a day, then what? (and yes, I am lucky that my work day is shorter than average to begin with). And hi, I'm at work where I'm being paid to work. I don't have an hour to try and pump either. It needs to come the hell out within like 15 minutes or that's it.
Also I'm scared of BF Nazi's and don't want to be in their group.
So while I pray I'm one of those people who BF comes easily to them and their baby... I don't count on it. And I basically spend all day worrying about how I will take care of this kid, mainly involving how I will care for him in regards to feeding.
Baby is head down and head is ENGAGED. That means his head is already in my pelvis, and I think she said he's at + 3 station. Which is as far down as baby can get without actually starting to crown (she said it to the medical student not to me, so I'm like did she really say +3?? Cuz that means his head made it past the ischial spines already, which means he FITS through my pelvis. Every OBGYN ever has told me I have small pelvis and may need a Csection. So...IN YOUR FACE).
Anyway, I'm so glad that he's not breech! That explains all my pelvic pressure. His back is along my right side. They swabbed me for GBS, I'll find out next week if it was positive or not. I let a medical student come in so I had everything done twice lol. I am dialated about 1 cm and my cervix is soft. She said it's 1 fingertip dilated which she knows is 1 cm. And a firm cervix feels like your nose, mine has softened to feeling like your lips. By the time of birth it's as thin as a piece of paper, so it's slowly effacing (i think she said something like 30% effaced to the med student). She said I will not make it to 40 weeks... that's okay by me! But I want to make it till December at least. The best part.... they could feel his head with their finger through my cervix!! (Gross i know) But that is so freaky!! My Bp was good, 116/72. She said my ankles and hands are a little swollen, although I don't see it.
I apparently gained 5 lbs in 2 weeks but this is what I think happened. Last appt, I was stepping on the scale and grabbed onto the handicap bar next to the scale. The nurse took my weight while my hand was still on there, which I thought might have made me weigh less. So now that i'm 5lbs up this appt, I'm pretty sure that's what happened because there is no way I really gained that much weight!
BREASTFEEDING:
So I plan to breastfeed, like many women do. I was originally pretty confident about it (i don't mean the decision, I mean my ability) but now I am... panicking. It seems complicated. It seems weird. Yes, it does, sorry I just offended and pissed off like all kinds of breastfeeding Nazi's by saying that - but it does. I also have no clue how to coordinate it. I mean, fine, you have the time to spend a million hours a day dealing with it while on maternity leave. But I have a countdown clock, about 8 weeks, to figure it all out and have things run smoothly. Also, with my insurance, you can't even buy a pump till after the baby is born. Then you send in the receipt for reimbursement, up to $175. So I won't even have a pump right away... giving me even less time to figure it out and get myself ready to return to work.
What if things aren't running smoothly by then? Also not only do I have 8 weeks to get breastfeeding down, but I also have to get the baby to take a bottle, AND become efficient at pumping within that time. What if he hates a bottle? If I get no milk out while pumping or it takes for-ever to get any? I see why some mothers may give up - it can potentially be a nightmare. The flip side is formula which honestly, the biggest thing that keeps me away from that is the cost - I don't get how people can afford it. Unless you just don't eat yourself and put that money towards formula. I got some samples from Similac and Enfamil in the mail and I won't lie, I felt some relief that if need be, I have some subsistence in the house to feed this kid. But no way could we afford that stuff on the regular.
So basically I'm kinda freaking out and feel like a partial failure already because it just feels like too much to juggle it all. And even admitting that makes you sound like the poor, overwhelmed mother who just needs a good lactation consultant to hold your hand. I feel like many women's feelings over this are also not validated at all. Everything you read and the advice you get is kinda annoying. "Don't give up!" It takes times!" Basically the advice sounds so obnoxious - like the kind of advice doctors and nurses give that doesn't feel like it applies to the real world, and you just nod your head while thinking "suuuure." To sum up what I've read, the advice is to commit your whole life to breastfeeding. Maybe my surge of maternal hormones will make me feel cool with this commitment but right now all I feel is "ugh - I'm exhausted just thinking about dealing with it." And most of the advice is, I think, geared to mothers who have all day to sit at home and BF (who has time for this!?). Because that's kinda what they say - you have to spend all day trying and don't give up. Well what if you're not physically with your baby for 7.5 hours a day, then what? (and yes, I am lucky that my work day is shorter than average to begin with). And hi, I'm at work where I'm being paid to work. I don't have an hour to try and pump either. It needs to come the hell out within like 15 minutes or that's it.
Also I'm scared of BF Nazi's and don't want to be in their group.
So while I pray I'm one of those people who BF comes easily to them and their baby... I don't count on it. And I basically spend all day worrying about how I will take care of this kid, mainly involving how I will care for him in regards to feeding.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Playing Catch Up - 35 weeks
My baby shower was Saturday, 10/26, and it was awesome and we were so spoiled. Thank you to everyone who came and "showered" us. It was also just really nice to see people I haven't seen in awhile and I wish I could have sat and talked with everyone. I felt like a bride at her wedding - like I didn't have enough time to eat and talk and thank people. I posted some on facebook, but here are some photos. Thanks to your fabulous shower photographer, Liz Frediani!
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| My siblings |
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| some food |
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| a basket of advice :) |
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| cookie my aunt gail made |
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| diaper cake |
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| opening gifts |
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| my Grandma Marge (baby's great grandma!) and Aunt Barb |
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| me and Eric's Grandma Phyllis (great grandma) |
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| gift table |
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| me and katie dinan!! |
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| me and my mom |
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| me and my parents |
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| me and eric's mom |
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| the napkins |
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| overview |
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| opening gifts |
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| pregnancy train LOL. Me, Sophia, and Markie |
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| cupcake table |
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| me and grandma bea (the 3rd great-grandma there!) |
Ok well now that I bored people with those...
Back pain:
The chiropractor has been amazing. I actually switched to a new one, she specializes in pregnancy and babies. What a difference!!! I went 2x a week a few times and it was awesome... but that gets expensive at $20 a visit. So I'm trying to just do once a week and it's not fun, my back is killing me again as I despretely wait for Tuesday to come again. I don't know what it is she does that works, but it does. I'm not totally pain free but I'm not in horrendous pain like I kind of feel now. Omg I would also love a real massage. I've never actually had one lol but I imagine it would be amaaaaazing right now.
Doctor Appt/Symptoms:
I'm going to the doctor every 2 weeks now. At my last appt everything was fine, as usual. We asked about baby's position and he said it was kind of hard to tell still but that at my next appt (which is this coming thursday) they'd probably be able to tell. I just want to know if he's breech or not!! Doctor said he's *probably* head down based on how I described his movements, but I'll believe it when I see it.He moves a lot up under my right ribs and also I feel him a little down by my left hip. He moves around all the time too, like just moving not kicks anymore. Makes my belly look like jelly and the other day I was bending over a little and he kicked my boobs! lol I wish someone had seen it. Also I get a LOT of pelvic pressure, at least I think that's what it is. I just feel weird pressures. Sometimes I get lots of pressure on my bladder and I know if it wasn't for my exceptional bladder control muscles (due to the fact that I have overactive bladder/bladder spasms in my non-pregnant life, causing me to develop very strong control) I would totally be peeing my pants. I get pressure in my butt too. Pressure everywhere. Oh and I think braxton hicks contractions but I still don't even understand what they're supposed to feel like - just a lot of hardness and pressure in my belly?
Another symptom I've been having is crazy fluid in my head. I had the NP at work look in my ears with an otoscope and she said yep - fluid behind the ear drum. Good ol' otis medis with effusion aka fluid in your middle ear aka there's nothing you can do till it goes away. I hear a hum in my ears all the time and my hearing is a little muffled. And I sneeze a lot. And I blow my nose a lot. And if I wasn't addicted to Afrin I know I would be crazy stuffy all the time too.
My blood pressure has been even better while pregnant than normally. 108/62 at this appt. I've also had NO swelling of my hands or ankles. I feel pretty lucky about that, because I know many women who have all kinds of pre-eclampsia worries and I haven't at all.
At my next appt I'll also get tested for Group B strep. For those that don't know - it's a normal bacteria in your digestive tract, up to 1/3 of pregnant women test positive for it. However, when baby comes out they can take that bacteria into their respiratory tract and can get a serious lung infection (1/200 chance). So that's the new thing they test for lol. If you're positive they make you take IV penicillin while in labor. Not a huge deal, but, if you're a believer like me that babies get all the "good" bacteria too when they come out - then they're not going to get any since obviously the penicillin will kill them too. Also it'd be annoying to be hooked up to a drip while in labor. Eric's mom has been feeding me fermented foods - organic european style yogurt, organic saurkraut, probiotic pills, kambucha, etc in order to pump me full of good bacteria for the baby. Of course, when I googled "how to test negative for group b strep" those are also the foods that just so happen to help you test negative. I suspect because they replace the group b strep in the gut. I've also been taking vitamin c and garlic and some other crap. I'll probably test positive anyway lol.
Baby Prep:
We went and toured the pediatricians and really liked it. I have to call and tell them that we're actually going to go with them and tell them which doctor we want. So... that'll be done.
We went and toured the pediatricians and really liked it. I have to call and tell them that we're actually going to go with them and tell them which doctor we want. So... that'll be done.
Eric and his mom painted the nursery and are doing the 2nd coat tomorrow. Then sometime this week hopefully Eric and my mom will do the wallpaper border. My mom bought us the crib, should be here Wednesday. Got the crib mattress tonight - I spent 3 days researching for one because I don't want a gross toxic chemical one since there is some research that suggests SIDS can be contributed to off-gasing of some nasty chemical in many conventional mattresses (alimony, arsenic, vinyl, etc). I really think within the next 5-10 years there will be a big shift in how crib mattresses are manufactured as more research and attention is put on the issue (kinda like what happened with BPA in all the bottles).
Anyway, I went with a Lullaby Earth one which got very good reviews and is Greenguard certified (ie no chemical emissions) and made by Naturepedic, which is the mattress I would have gotten if we were rich lol. Buy Buy Baby actually sells it in store so we were able to get 20% off the manufacturer set price (yay). This one is their "cheaper" line but still really good and still handmade by Amish people in Ohio lol. http://www.cleveland.com/business/index.ssf/2012/05/naturepedic_mattress_maker_dreams_up_new_lower-cost_line_called_lullaby_earth.html
Also got a bunch of other stuff tonight - a lamp that matches our bedding set. It was originally $60 (which is ridiculous for a stupid nursery lamp) and it was randomly 50% off at BBB today plus I was able to still use a 20% coupon so we paid $23! I still need a mobile, the one that matches our set is $60 too (and not in stock at the store, i think they're trying to phase out the bedding line we got) which again I think is insane so I need to find a cheaper one that matches at least a little bit. Anyway, I got some boring things like an (organic cotton, lol of course) mattress cover and some multiuse waterproof pads my mom said you put in the crib under the sheets, and some diaper genie bags. I also had a ton of drama at Target regarding returns but I will not pollute my blog with their drama right now.
So yes, lots of prep work for the baby is in motion and it's overwhelming and everything is still a mess. 5 weeks until my due date!!
Gah I just realized that my doctors appt on Thursday is the same day and time as a breastfeeding group class I've had scheduled for like, 2 months. So annoying. I have so many dang appts lately and I'm so forgetful, that I've been double booking all over the place. What are the odds that the doctors will be able to change my appt? blaaaaah
No work tomorrow - love working for a school and getting every little holiday off!!
Gah I just realized that my doctors appt on Thursday is the same day and time as a breastfeeding group class I've had scheduled for like, 2 months. So annoying. I have so many dang appts lately and I'm so forgetful, that I've been double booking all over the place. What are the odds that the doctors will be able to change my appt? blaaaaah
No work tomorrow - love working for a school and getting every little holiday off!!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
32 weeks
I have felt way too lazy to write, and I still do, but I really should update.
So last week, on Thursday 10/17, I called my OB's office to ask about a note taking me out of work at my per diem job. I happened to causally ask while on the phone, when I should be concerned over decreased fetal movement. The day before I hadn't felt him move as much, and he didn't pass the "kick counts." Well, they told me they wanted me to come in right then, that morning. So I had to leave work and go in. They used the doppler and his heartbeat was fine. It was heard up high on my right side which I think probably means he's still breech (sidenote: they haven't felt yet to see how he is positioned in there. I think maybe at my next regular appt. I'm dying to know). Anyway, then they sent me over to the perinatal office for a Non-Stress Test. I got to lay back in a big recliner and had the tocolytic monitors wrapped around my belly - one at the top which measures my movements (and contractions) and one on the bottom which measures baby's heartrate and movements. It took him awhile but his heart rate finally started having some variability! I had to drink apple juice and turn on my side to get him to do it. He was moving around though fine and I also wasn't having any contractions, so all was well!
And yes, I am no longer working at the hospital because it was killing me. I'm out until after baby. It'll be tougher not having that extra income, but I am so relieved.
We started our childbirth classes last night (10/21). We go for 5 Mondays, from 6:30-8:30ish. There are 6 couples there including us. Interesting note, out of 6 couples only 2 were married, 3 were engaged including us, and 1 boyfriend-girlfriend. A sign of the times. Lol I felt like a know-it-all because I knew all the answers from nursing school and everyone else was silent. Eric even called me out on it today. But yesterday was just an intro class to pregnancy and labor basics really, so going forward I won't know-it-all anymore lol. Next week is "coaches" week, all about what the coach has to do and then relaxation techniques. We definitely had the weirdest baby name. The instructor was like oh, is that a family name...? No it's not, sorry that we're not naming our kid Aidan or Sophia, or another top 3 baby name, like several other people in the class. BORING, trendy, popular names are just boooring to me Which is why I had to cross Liam off my list, even though I still do love it. Anyway. The last thing we did was watch a video of a woman in labor, and giving birth. It wasn't particularly graphic though, and focused more on her in pain during her unmedicated labor. And that made me not want to do it at all - like no thanks, I'll pass. I think I want an epidural at least. As Eric says though, I'll probably end up with a C-section anyway and all this will be pointless.
My baby shower is this coming Saturday, the 26th. I am excited and nervous. I feel kinda weird being the center of attention and having people give me gifts that I specifically asked for... but I am looking forward to it to because it'll be fun to see everyone :)
I've started taking Epsom salt baths and they help my achy bones lol. Seriously, it does help, even though taking baths is so gross. I haven't taken one in like 20 years, and bathtubs have also shrunk since that time LOL. Sometimes too I'll just get in the shower like 3 times a night with a shower cap on and have the hot water go on my back.
I still am sleeping horribly. I can't get comfortable because my bottom shoulder hurts, and my hips. But mostly my arms/shoulder and neck. And basically everything. And then whenever I move, my uterus puts additional pressure on my bladder and I have to pee. I pee every 5-10 minutes. And when I fall asleep I wake up every hour to pee. Pee. God is a misogynist for designing the bladder to be squished under a huge heavy uterus.
Here is my comparison pic from last week (at 31 weeks). I still look somewhat similar.
Well our wallpaper border is in. And we've narrowed down a few paint colors. I want to PAINT now but eric is still being slow. He did cut and put up a dowel for our closet, so that I can move my clothes out of the nursery closet so that I can hang baby clothes in there. Although I would need the baby hangers to do that lol. But yea that is getting painting within the next few days. Clearly I'm ready for the baby...not.
So last week, on Thursday 10/17, I called my OB's office to ask about a note taking me out of work at my per diem job. I happened to causally ask while on the phone, when I should be concerned over decreased fetal movement. The day before I hadn't felt him move as much, and he didn't pass the "kick counts." Well, they told me they wanted me to come in right then, that morning. So I had to leave work and go in. They used the doppler and his heartbeat was fine. It was heard up high on my right side which I think probably means he's still breech (sidenote: they haven't felt yet to see how he is positioned in there. I think maybe at my next regular appt. I'm dying to know). Anyway, then they sent me over to the perinatal office for a Non-Stress Test. I got to lay back in a big recliner and had the tocolytic monitors wrapped around my belly - one at the top which measures my movements (and contractions) and one on the bottom which measures baby's heartrate and movements. It took him awhile but his heart rate finally started having some variability! I had to drink apple juice and turn on my side to get him to do it. He was moving around though fine and I also wasn't having any contractions, so all was well!
And yes, I am no longer working at the hospital because it was killing me. I'm out until after baby. It'll be tougher not having that extra income, but I am so relieved.
We started our childbirth classes last night (10/21). We go for 5 Mondays, from 6:30-8:30ish. There are 6 couples there including us. Interesting note, out of 6 couples only 2 were married, 3 were engaged including us, and 1 boyfriend-girlfriend. A sign of the times. Lol I felt like a know-it-all because I knew all the answers from nursing school and everyone else was silent. Eric even called me out on it today. But yesterday was just an intro class to pregnancy and labor basics really, so going forward I won't know-it-all anymore lol. Next week is "coaches" week, all about what the coach has to do and then relaxation techniques. We definitely had the weirdest baby name. The instructor was like oh, is that a family name...? No it's not, sorry that we're not naming our kid Aidan or Sophia, or another top 3 baby name, like several other people in the class. BORING, trendy, popular names are just boooring to me Which is why I had to cross Liam off my list, even though I still do love it. Anyway. The last thing we did was watch a video of a woman in labor, and giving birth. It wasn't particularly graphic though, and focused more on her in pain during her unmedicated labor. And that made me not want to do it at all - like no thanks, I'll pass. I think I want an epidural at least. As Eric says though, I'll probably end up with a C-section anyway and all this will be pointless.
My baby shower is this coming Saturday, the 26th. I am excited and nervous. I feel kinda weird being the center of attention and having people give me gifts that I specifically asked for... but I am looking forward to it to because it'll be fun to see everyone :)
I've started taking Epsom salt baths and they help my achy bones lol. Seriously, it does help, even though taking baths is so gross. I haven't taken one in like 20 years, and bathtubs have also shrunk since that time LOL. Sometimes too I'll just get in the shower like 3 times a night with a shower cap on and have the hot water go on my back.
I still am sleeping horribly. I can't get comfortable because my bottom shoulder hurts, and my hips. But mostly my arms/shoulder and neck. And basically everything. And then whenever I move, my uterus puts additional pressure on my bladder and I have to pee. I pee every 5-10 minutes. And when I fall asleep I wake up every hour to pee. Pee. God is a misogynist for designing the bladder to be squished under a huge heavy uterus.
Here is my comparison pic from last week (at 31 weeks). I still look somewhat similar.
Well our wallpaper border is in. And we've narrowed down a few paint colors. I want to PAINT now but eric is still being slow. He did cut and put up a dowel for our closet, so that I can move my clothes out of the nursery closet so that I can hang baby clothes in there. Although I would need the baby hangers to do that lol. But yea that is getting painting within the next few days. Clearly I'm ready for the baby...not.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
75% done
I hit 30 weeks yesterday.
This is how I look - the stripes make me look bigger honestly.
HOW I AM FEELING:
I hate when people ask "how are you feeling?" because no one wants the truth lol. I feel a heavy expectation to say "faaaabulous!" But I don't feel that way lol. I mean it could be a lot worse, I don't feel bad. But I don't feel good either. I mean maybe it's "good" for being pregnant. But for normal life it's not good lol. I don't know what people expect me to say. Since you're supposed to be in pain and discomfort while pregnant, I guess not bad and can't complain too much - I could be having crazy contractions and on bedrest. And I know there is an eventual end date. But if I had to feel like this forever, I would want to die LOL. So usually I just say "alright" sometimes adding "tired!" onto it.
I don't sleep anymore. I finally fall asleep around 12:30 or 1am - I toss and turn a lot, my shoulders hurt, so the bottom shoulder that I'm laying on starts to hurt and get uncomfortable and I have to adjust my position in bed, which is a huuuuuge process. Plus I have to pee every 15 minutes so usually the "it's time to roll over" feeling is coupled with me having to get up and trek to the bathroom. Then I wake up every hour or 2 to pee again. Usually my last time is around 5:45 and I get annoyed because I get up at 6:30 so I never really fall back asleep again. I miss REAL sleep!! I try to take naps in the afternoon after work, I usually sleep for about 1.5-2 hours then, and it's the best sleep I get all day. SO yea, I'm grumpy and pessimistic.
LOTS of back pain - lower and upper, and shoulder and neck pain. And pelvic and hip pain. Basically everything hurts lol. All that pain is also what's keeping me from sleeping and waking me up. I went to the chiropractor yesterday. It helps but after a couple days it comes back full force. I want a massage too lol but those are expensive.
Brain fogginess. Ugh. I feel like an idiot all the time. I am so forgetful and just plain stupid. Which is really annoying when I'm still trying to prove myself at a new job. I feel like I look like an idiot a lot.
DOCTOR'S APPT TODAY:
Everything was fine. Blood pressure was 114/68, pee was fine, fundus measurement perfect, fetal heart rate fine. I had some cramps at work today and he said cramps are normal as long as they're not rhythmic and regular. I've gained 18 pounds which he said is 1-2 pounds more than we'd like to see but it's okay. 5 lbs of that was in the last month though. So then I was all annoyed because everyone seems to be calling me big lately - so I was feeling like a giant fat blob. I complained to the girls in my December pregnancy group and.... I've gained some of the LEAST weight of anyone!! Most are already in the 20-something lbs range if not more. So how come *I* am considered too "fat?" Probably because I'm Lauren and I always get crap. This is what I ate today:
Breakfast: granola bar and slim fast
Mid Morning Snack: dry roasted edamame (wasabi flavored!!)
Lunch: salad: lettuce, broccoli, peppers, cheese, tuna, and a hard boiled egg with fat free french dsg. Also a wheat roll and some triscuits
Dinner: chicken breast, broccoli, pasta
I don't think I'm pigging out or eating a ton of junk. I've been trying to be careful about what I eat. How much better can I eat other than to eat less which clearly isn't right because I already don't eat quite enough calories that are recommended (but I know my body and if I eat "reccomended" calories, I blow up like a hog being fattened for slaughter) So now I want to like not gain any weight before my next appt in 3 weeks, to tell the doctors to shove it. Which I know is ridiculous and I won't do. But seriously. You told me i was ONE POUND overweight, that's like the difference of if I had had a doctors appt in the morning where you're skinnier or at the end of the day where you're more bloated (which is when my appt was). What is this, a modeling contest? Will my fat pockets start to be circled next? I'm just annoyed and want to tell everyone to go shove a fat burger into their fat mouths. </rant>
Dr said I could leave my per diem job any time I want. He said I can just tell them since I'm per diem, and don't need a dr note, but I think they'll want a note since I have a contract saying I'll work 2 shifts a month (and I know my unit.) So he said just call and he'll give me one whenever I want to stop working there. UGH. I want to stop now but I also would like the extra money. I'm scheduled to work this Saturday and next and I wanna try to tough it out but then after that be done.
I also got a flu shot today. It wasn't a normal one... it was a transdermal one, ie a little bubble put right under my skin. And preservative-free (ie no mercury). It's kind of nice, because my arm doesn't feel like I got hit my a heavyweight, just a little itchy.
ODDS and ENDS:
Kristen felt the baby kick last week!! First person to feel him - FINALLY. She said she didn't think Eric was pressing hard enough and then I thought about it, and he hadn't been. But then... a couple nights ago we think he felt a kick!! About freaken time.
I wonder what he's doing in there a lot. It has to be so boring. I mean you're just floating around with nothing to do but move your limbs around. It's dark. You've never seen the world. I know it's completely irrational, but I feel kinda bad for him sometimes like how is he not sooooo bored???
We signed up for a childbirth class, it runs on Mondays from 6:30-9, from October 21-November 18th. The last class is actually a breastfeeding class that is thrown in for "free." I'm looking forward to it because Eric needs some education LOL. Also I just think it'll help with my anxiety.
I meet with the Asst. Superintendent tomorrow to go over all my maternity leave stuff. I'm nervous. I mean I have an idea of what he will say and I shouldn't be nervous, but I am!!
We picked out a wallpaper border for the nursery!! We're going to paint and then put this border down
Well I want to paint, Eric still thinks we should leave the walls ivory because he thinks it looks good. No it doesn't. The colors in the border match perfect with the bedding, and the animals in it do too. I also like that it's the alphabet because I think that's cute in nurseries, and now I can bring that secondary theme into the room. We need to get started on the room though. No energy.
This is how I look - the stripes make me look bigger honestly.
On a side note I got my hair done last friday - trimmed, shaped, and highlighted. Looks so much better, and healthier. I can't believe how much healthier. And I actually have bangs again. Somehow during pregnancy I lost my side part and this gross center part formed - causing my bangs to become gross, ugly non-bangs. She fixed that though, somehow.
HOW I AM FEELING:
I hate when people ask "how are you feeling?" because no one wants the truth lol. I feel a heavy expectation to say "faaaabulous!" But I don't feel that way lol. I mean it could be a lot worse, I don't feel bad. But I don't feel good either. I mean maybe it's "good" for being pregnant. But for normal life it's not good lol. I don't know what people expect me to say. Since you're supposed to be in pain and discomfort while pregnant, I guess not bad and can't complain too much - I could be having crazy contractions and on bedrest. And I know there is an eventual end date. But if I had to feel like this forever, I would want to die LOL. So usually I just say "alright" sometimes adding "tired!" onto it.
I don't sleep anymore. I finally fall asleep around 12:30 or 1am - I toss and turn a lot, my shoulders hurt, so the bottom shoulder that I'm laying on starts to hurt and get uncomfortable and I have to adjust my position in bed, which is a huuuuuge process. Plus I have to pee every 15 minutes so usually the "it's time to roll over" feeling is coupled with me having to get up and trek to the bathroom. Then I wake up every hour or 2 to pee again. Usually my last time is around 5:45 and I get annoyed because I get up at 6:30 so I never really fall back asleep again. I miss REAL sleep!! I try to take naps in the afternoon after work, I usually sleep for about 1.5-2 hours then, and it's the best sleep I get all day. SO yea, I'm grumpy and pessimistic.
LOTS of back pain - lower and upper, and shoulder and neck pain. And pelvic and hip pain. Basically everything hurts lol. All that pain is also what's keeping me from sleeping and waking me up. I went to the chiropractor yesterday. It helps but after a couple days it comes back full force. I want a massage too lol but those are expensive.
Brain fogginess. Ugh. I feel like an idiot all the time. I am so forgetful and just plain stupid. Which is really annoying when I'm still trying to prove myself at a new job. I feel like I look like an idiot a lot.
DOCTOR'S APPT TODAY:
Everything was fine. Blood pressure was 114/68, pee was fine, fundus measurement perfect, fetal heart rate fine. I had some cramps at work today and he said cramps are normal as long as they're not rhythmic and regular. I've gained 18 pounds which he said is 1-2 pounds more than we'd like to see but it's okay. 5 lbs of that was in the last month though. So then I was all annoyed because everyone seems to be calling me big lately - so I was feeling like a giant fat blob. I complained to the girls in my December pregnancy group and.... I've gained some of the LEAST weight of anyone!! Most are already in the 20-something lbs range if not more. So how come *I* am considered too "fat?" Probably because I'm Lauren and I always get crap. This is what I ate today:
Breakfast: granola bar and slim fast
Mid Morning Snack: dry roasted edamame (wasabi flavored!!)
Lunch: salad: lettuce, broccoli, peppers, cheese, tuna, and a hard boiled egg with fat free french dsg. Also a wheat roll and some triscuits
Dinner: chicken breast, broccoli, pasta
I don't think I'm pigging out or eating a ton of junk. I've been trying to be careful about what I eat. How much better can I eat other than to eat less which clearly isn't right because I already don't eat quite enough calories that are recommended (but I know my body and if I eat "reccomended" calories, I blow up like a hog being fattened for slaughter) So now I want to like not gain any weight before my next appt in 3 weeks, to tell the doctors to shove it. Which I know is ridiculous and I won't do. But seriously. You told me i was ONE POUND overweight, that's like the difference of if I had had a doctors appt in the morning where you're skinnier or at the end of the day where you're more bloated (which is when my appt was). What is this, a modeling contest? Will my fat pockets start to be circled next? I'm just annoyed and want to tell everyone to go shove a fat burger into their fat mouths. </rant>
Dr said I could leave my per diem job any time I want. He said I can just tell them since I'm per diem, and don't need a dr note, but I think they'll want a note since I have a contract saying I'll work 2 shifts a month (and I know my unit.) So he said just call and he'll give me one whenever I want to stop working there. UGH. I want to stop now but I also would like the extra money. I'm scheduled to work this Saturday and next and I wanna try to tough it out but then after that be done.
I also got a flu shot today. It wasn't a normal one... it was a transdermal one, ie a little bubble put right under my skin. And preservative-free (ie no mercury). It's kind of nice, because my arm doesn't feel like I got hit my a heavyweight, just a little itchy.
ODDS and ENDS:
Kristen felt the baby kick last week!! First person to feel him - FINALLY. She said she didn't think Eric was pressing hard enough and then I thought about it, and he hadn't been. But then... a couple nights ago we think he felt a kick!! About freaken time.
I wonder what he's doing in there a lot. It has to be so boring. I mean you're just floating around with nothing to do but move your limbs around. It's dark. You've never seen the world. I know it's completely irrational, but I feel kinda bad for him sometimes like how is he not sooooo bored???
We signed up for a childbirth class, it runs on Mondays from 6:30-9, from October 21-November 18th. The last class is actually a breastfeeding class that is thrown in for "free." I'm looking forward to it because Eric needs some education LOL. Also I just think it'll help with my anxiety.
I meet with the Asst. Superintendent tomorrow to go over all my maternity leave stuff. I'm nervous. I mean I have an idea of what he will say and I shouldn't be nervous, but I am!!
We picked out a wallpaper border for the nursery!! We're going to paint and then put this border down
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
28 weeks
Sometimes I still forget i'm pregnant. Which I know is funny seeing as how I am getting huge, but when I'm busy and he's not moving much, I forget. And then I'm like oh yea.... And then I am hit with the fact that a person is living inside of me all over again. Sometimes it still doesn't feel real. He just gave me 2 huge kicks under my ribs as I typed that. Probably to remind me that he's real.
So earlier I took a nap. I went to get out of bed and... was hit with the worst leg cramp I have ever felt. Calling it a leg cramp is an understatment. I could not move my leg. Like the whole thing. Then from the calf to ankle it went into this involuntary contracture that you could see indenting through the skin. It was SO painful but also freaking me out so much because it looked gross and alien too. Usually with a cramp I get up and try to walk it off, flex my foot up, try to run warm water over the muscle, etc. But like I said, I could not move the leg!! It was like the muscle contraction was paralyzing it. Eric went and wet a towel with hot water and wrapped it around my leg and rubbed, and it helped a little. it FINALLY started to go away and eric helped me limp to the shower where i hosed down the muscle with warm water. Ugh. And in the middle of it all Sophie had to come in and investigate and was all up in my business - so ridiculous. I don't have any bananas to eat either, although I took a calcium pill which also helps. I'm so scared this will happen again!!
I do find though that most pregnancy symptoms in general are pretty tolerable - because you know what is causing them. Fear of the unknown definitely plays a role in the random pains you normally get causing you distress. But when you're pregnant, you know the reason. Before I was pregnant I thought i'd be a nervous twit when I was... but I really don't think I am. The only time I ever called my dr about anything was when I fell in the hallway at work walking down for my yearbook picture (lol) and other people told me to call just to be safe (i was fine.) But damn the sheer pain of that leg thing before was terrible. Also, I have random nights where I just feel "achey" and "off"... and tonight is turning into one. I'm actually feeling a little nauseous now. Sometimes I randomly throw up too - it's not even like an "oooo i'm so sick" puke just a random nausea, I puke, and feel better and go about my business. I'm pretty sure it's just because my stomach is being compressed. It doesn't happen everyday; maybe once a week.
So I failed my 1 hour glucose screen. Apparently something like 40% of women do (it's very inaccurate and I don't think it should even be used!) but I know I am unlucky with everything, so I was worried I had the 'betes. All I was imagining was Wilfred Brimley on a horse talking about diabetic testing supplies and having to poke myself and I wanted to throw up. (Yes, I am a nurse and stick needles in people all the time but it';s different when it's YOU!)
So, last Saturday I had to go in for the 3 hour test. Basically, it sucked. I went to the new ACM lab though on Elmgrove Rd, and it was awesome. I will never go to another lab again. Most labs are dingy, old, cramped waiting rooms, kinda ghetto in general. This new one has a big waiting room with lots of windows, it very clean, had a TV that was playing I Love Lucy and then The Golden Girls (2 of my fav shows ever!!!), and good staff. I had to fast, then go in at 8:30am and get my fasting blood drawn, then drink 100 grams of sugar (SO GROSS. The 1 hour test is only 50 grams and didn't taste that bad) then get my blood drawn an hour later, 2 hours later, and 3 hours later. 4 times total all out of the same vein - it's still bruised. The first hour was the worst because my body was dealing with the sugar rush and it was making me sooooo tired and I was super hungry and also nauseous from the sugar drink. But anyway I was told yesterday that i PASSED. So no gestational diabetes for me.
Oh and when I finally went to leave at 11:45, I couldn't find my keys. I went up to the desk after searching for like 10 mins, and the receptionist was like oh they're yours!! I should have known, you're the only one that 's been there the whole time. Pregnancy brain?. Except honestly, I lose my keys all the time, all over the place. So really, I can't blame it on anything other than my own inherent absentmindedness.
For my own records, my BG level for the 1 hour was 173 - pretty high (failing is over 140). My numbers for the 3 hour were all passing: 85 (fail is over 95), 170 (fail is over 180), 147 (fail is over 155), 137 (fail is over 140). If you fail more than 2 numbers then you have gestational diabetes. I find it weird that my BG was actually LOWER 1 hour after drinking 100g of sugar than it was 1 hour after drinking only 50g of sugar. Only thing I can think of is a) i was a candy-a-holic the week before the 1 hour and b)I didn't fast as much before. Whatever, I'm happy I passed.
I am tired all the time in general though and have no energy. I wish I had more energy and motivation to work on my new house but I just don't. The smallest task seems so monumental. Just keeping the house semi-cleaned is enough work, let alone finding places for things, decorating etc. We still have shit to move from my mom's house that we need to borrow a truck for - it keeps getting put off. I bought curtains for our bedroom and eric put them up today... and I don't like them lol. So now I have to return them and get something new, and that task seems so daunting to do.
In general I really don't feel awful, even though I just spent an entire entry complaining. It's really neat to feel him kick and move. I have been getting Brazton-Hicks contractions more and more. When they started around 20 weeks it was every few days. Now it's every couple hours. At least I think they're BH. I asked the nurse practitioner and she didn't really give me a good answer - just said yea they probably are. They don't hurt, just feel like a weird pressure.
Oh we got the bedding for the baby's room. http://www.buybuybaby.com/store/product/kidsline-safari-party-crib-bedding-collection/208453?categoryId=32003 I have no idea how to paint the nursery and I don't like Eric's suggestions. This is too hard.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
27 weeks - 3rd Trimester
I will be 27 weeks on Tuesday (so basically in a day). That officially starts not only Month 7, but also the THIRD TRIMESTER. In case you were unaware, that is the last one. No more trimesters after that. At the end of the 3rd you get a baby. Sometimes I stop and really think about it and I cannot imagine having a child. I do not know how to be someone's mom. I feel like I am so busy as it is, how will I add a kid to the mix. Obviously, I know that logically, some really stupid people have kids and manage it, so I will too. It's actually better to not think about it too much, to go through the motions of preparing for baby, without being introspective about it because I think doing so would make many people have a freaken anxiety attack.
According to the internets, the baby is around 15 inches and 2.5 lbs now. While that is small for a full term baby, that seems huge to me lol. I can't believe a person that big is living in my body.
Oh also I am having lots of fear about giving birth. About dying but also just the thought of having to do it is so surreal. Childbirth is something that other women do, not me. I really don't want to do it either. Because it is painful but also because it is weird. I've never been hospitalized before, the whole thing is just so strange. Weird to be in a hospital, to be poked around, just the process itself is SURREAL.
I took these last week:
Owning a house is exhausting. Well not really, but it's impossible to keep it all tidy and neat. As soon as you clean something, something else is a mess. Add in the fact that I get home from work at 3pm (yes, I am so lucky that I get out that early everyday) and I'm so damn tired that I usually spend about an hour attending to what I like to refer to as my "personal secretarial business" (phone calls, etc. There's a lot of companies and people to contact when you take on 50 new bills, get a new job - ie new income and insurance, and a new house with it's tax situation.) and then I nap till like 6pm. Then have to run errands, try to be home by 8:30. I have to eat at some point (and clean up all that). Then shower and my hair, and that's when I get chores and cleaning done too. I should be in bed by 10:30 but I consider 11:30 a good time. Up at 6:30am.
Oh also we still have things at my mom's to move, and we really need to oh, i don't know, set up and decorate rooms besides the living room. It's hard to find time to do that. This weekend I was up at 9 on Saturday to go to that glucose test. Home at 12. Ate, nap from 1-2:15. Worked 3-11:30, went to my mom's until 12:30am because I was needed. Today was "Bills Day" where Eric is useless after like noon. I had errands and groceries to get anyway. Life is busy. How do people find time to decorate entire houses? I don't understand.
Anyway, I changed my mind about the baby bedding. Friday night I went to Buy Buy Baby and found a set that I REALLY like. So no more Peter Rabbit theme, and going with this one instead. I know in the long run it doesn't matter at all, but little things like this are nice to focus on lol.
As mentioned, I had my glucose screen (the screening for gestational diabetes) done on Saturday 9/14. I pray to god I pass. The drink itself didn't taste terrible. Except apparently they usually have it refrigerated but they had none in the fridge, so I had to drink it room temp. The workers didin't give a shit; they were working at a lab on a Saturday morning - enough said about their level of morale. But having it cold would have made it soooo much better. I actually struggled more with getting the sheer volume of the liquid down. My stomach is so squished that I can't eat/drink large amts anymore. This other pregnant chick came in like 10 mins after me and chugged hers down. You have 5 mins to drink it and she was done like a minute before me, despite starting after me. They had to "yell" at me to finish it. I could never chug now, I think I would literally puke (actually, i HAVE thrown up a few times lately from pressure/over full stomach. Never threw up during early pregnancy, but NOW is the time I do it lol). Anyway, I felt very judged, like I wasn't as compliant, since I couldn't chug it too. The sugar drink made me feel sleepy, and made the baby feel very kicky. It was incredibly boring to sit in the waiting room for an hour too, so if I fail and have to do the 3 hour test, I will be super annoyed that I have to sit there for 3 HOURS.
He kicks and moves a lot but I'm the only one that he does it for lol. You can feel him doing it if you put your hand on my belly - in theory. Because as soon as someone, besides me, tries to feel, he stops. It's kind of neat to think though that I'm the only one in the entire world that is *physically* aware of his presence. I mean, someday, during the course of his life, thousands and thousands of people will be aware of his physical presence. But for now, there's just one, and that is me. And I'm the first. But it would be nice if he stopped making such a liar out of me. Also, every time I decide to go to a store, he decides to sit on my bladder or something. It's not a feeling you get when not-pregnant. It's just a weird sudden pressure on my bladder so even though I technically probably don't have much pee in me - I need to run to a bathroom. I wish I knew how he was positioned in there actually. I feel kicks and flutters and movements all over so I think (?) he still has enough room to roll around in there. I have a dr's appt Wednesday and I plan on asking about that.
According to the internets, the baby is around 15 inches and 2.5 lbs now. While that is small for a full term baby, that seems huge to me lol. I can't believe a person that big is living in my body.
Oh also I am having lots of fear about giving birth. About dying but also just the thought of having to do it is so surreal. Childbirth is something that other women do, not me. I really don't want to do it either. Because it is painful but also because it is weird. I've never been hospitalized before, the whole thing is just so strange. Weird to be in a hospital, to be poked around, just the process itself is SURREAL.
I took these last week:
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| lol I cannot take pics in a mirror. 26 weeks. |
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| 26 weeks |
Owning a house is exhausting. Well not really, but it's impossible to keep it all tidy and neat. As soon as you clean something, something else is a mess. Add in the fact that I get home from work at 3pm (yes, I am so lucky that I get out that early everyday) and I'm so damn tired that I usually spend about an hour attending to what I like to refer to as my "personal secretarial business" (phone calls, etc. There's a lot of companies and people to contact when you take on 50 new bills, get a new job - ie new income and insurance, and a new house with it's tax situation.) and then I nap till like 6pm. Then have to run errands, try to be home by 8:30. I have to eat at some point (and clean up all that). Then shower and my hair, and that's when I get chores and cleaning done too. I should be in bed by 10:30 but I consider 11:30 a good time. Up at 6:30am.
Oh also we still have things at my mom's to move, and we really need to oh, i don't know, set up and decorate rooms besides the living room. It's hard to find time to do that. This weekend I was up at 9 on Saturday to go to that glucose test. Home at 12. Ate, nap from 1-2:15. Worked 3-11:30, went to my mom's until 12:30am because I was needed. Today was "Bills Day" where Eric is useless after like noon. I had errands and groceries to get anyway. Life is busy. How do people find time to decorate entire houses? I don't understand.
Anyway, I changed my mind about the baby bedding. Friday night I went to Buy Buy Baby and found a set that I REALLY like. So no more Peter Rabbit theme, and going with this one instead. I know in the long run it doesn't matter at all, but little things like this are nice to focus on lol.
As mentioned, I had my glucose screen (the screening for gestational diabetes) done on Saturday 9/14. I pray to god I pass. The drink itself didn't taste terrible. Except apparently they usually have it refrigerated but they had none in the fridge, so I had to drink it room temp. The workers didin't give a shit; they were working at a lab on a Saturday morning - enough said about their level of morale. But having it cold would have made it soooo much better. I actually struggled more with getting the sheer volume of the liquid down. My stomach is so squished that I can't eat/drink large amts anymore. This other pregnant chick came in like 10 mins after me and chugged hers down. You have 5 mins to drink it and she was done like a minute before me, despite starting after me. They had to "yell" at me to finish it. I could never chug now, I think I would literally puke (actually, i HAVE thrown up a few times lately from pressure/over full stomach. Never threw up during early pregnancy, but NOW is the time I do it lol). Anyway, I felt very judged, like I wasn't as compliant, since I couldn't chug it too. The sugar drink made me feel sleepy, and made the baby feel very kicky. It was incredibly boring to sit in the waiting room for an hour too, so if I fail and have to do the 3 hour test, I will be super annoyed that I have to sit there for 3 HOURS.
He kicks and moves a lot but I'm the only one that he does it for lol. You can feel him doing it if you put your hand on my belly - in theory. Because as soon as someone, besides me, tries to feel, he stops. It's kind of neat to think though that I'm the only one in the entire world that is *physically* aware of his presence. I mean, someday, during the course of his life, thousands and thousands of people will be aware of his physical presence. But for now, there's just one, and that is me. And I'm the first. But it would be nice if he stopped making such a liar out of me. Also, every time I decide to go to a store, he decides to sit on my bladder or something. It's not a feeling you get when not-pregnant. It's just a weird sudden pressure on my bladder so even though I technically probably don't have much pee in me - I need to run to a bathroom. I wish I knew how he was positioned in there actually. I feel kicks and flutters and movements all over so I think (?) he still has enough room to roll around in there. I have a dr's appt Wednesday and I plan on asking about that.
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